8 Ways to Enjoy a Connection with Your Child
In a world where things often feel disconnected, forming and maintaining a personal connection can be a challenge. Although we have greater, often instant, access to each other via the technology at our fingertips, we may be sacrificing quality for quantity in our connections, even within our family relationships.
Dr. Edward Tronick feels so strongly about the importance of connection that he contends, “We need loving contact like oxygen.” This kind of intentional, focused, loving contact helps create strong connections and healthy attachment between children and their caregivers. Meaningful connection can also be a powerful stress reliever for all involved.
Some days it may seem like there just isn’t much time or energy for anything other than meeting your child’s needs, especially when they’re very young, but it’s important to spend a little time nurturing your unique connection with your children each day.
Here are eight ways to incorporate intentional, focused, loving contact regularly:
1. Read
Even older children who can read well on their own enjoy being read to aloud, and taking turns reading aloud can be a good way to get reluctant readers interested. Reading quietly together counts, too.
2. Play
Let your child lead and join in the fun. Playing with puppets can be a great way to help children safely process feelings that may be overwhelming, such as fear or sadness when a parent is deployed or anxiety over being the new kid at school.
3. Get physical
Dance, have a pillow fight, wrestle, exercise, do some yoga, go for a walk, play tag, shoot hoops, jump rope, blow bubbles—anything that gets you moving with your child.
4. Make music
Sing, beat on drums (oatmeal canisters make wonderful drums), play the radio, sit in on practice time if your child plays an instrument, and enjoy how music brings us together.
5. Talk
Tune in to what’s important to your child, giving your undivided attention for at least 15 minutes every day. Do your best to really listen attentively, without jumping in with comments or planning your response, allowing the conversation to unfold naturally. Make a mental note of anything that you might want to follow up on in future conversations.
6. Create a gratitude journal together
Set aside a few minutes each evening to reflect on the day, and write down three or more things that family members are thankful for. This introduces positive thoughts into the mind at bedtime and can be a relaxing routine before going to sleep.
7. Laugh
Humor can have a healing effect, and laughter is a great way to reinforce the family bond.
8. Create
Make or build something together, just for fun. Take a trip to the dollar or craft store and pick out some simple and inexpensive supplies together. Popsicle sticks, watercolor paints, fuzzy pipe cleaners, play dough or modeling clay, felt squares, and markers and crayons are creative choices, as well as building blocks and train sets. Baking and decorating cookies and cupcakes or cooking a favorite meal together can also be good ways to bring creativity into the mix. The idea isn’t to create something Pinterest-worthy but simply to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Bonus: Some of the richest conversations emerge while engaging in creative activities.
