With hundreds of moving pieces, deadlines, and uncontrollables, a PCS can be stressful.  Many military families find themselves relying on fast food.  Seemingly, it’s a quick and easy way to reduce some of the PCS season stress.  

But, did you know a recent study suggests those who eat fast food are more likely to suffer from depression.  Depression is certainly not something we need during a PCS!  Fast food consumption can also contribute to weight gain.  Nobody wants that either.  

With our cookware and kitchen tools packed up, how can we possibly manage to eat healthy?  The key is a little preventative planning.  My husband would tell me to remember the 7 “Ps.”  Here are a few ideas:

If you know you’ll be be stopping for fast food, go on-line and print the nutrition information for places you expect to dine (or save them to your smartphone).  Keep the nutrition facts with you; they can guide selections to help keep your diet balanced. As a secondary use during long car rides, have older children use the charts for a nutrition lesson.  Have them figure out which food has the most sodium, calories, sugar, fat, etc.  

When ordering fast food, ask if whole wheat buns are available. Keep in mind, sodas, smoothies, and shakes often have unbelievably high amounts of added sugar. Consume these and blood sugar could spike and then crash.  A blood sugar crash makes for a very lethargic driver.  

Hand carry a few essentials.  Until all kitchenware is found, a sauce pot, baking dish, sharp knife, and spatula should help me put something easy yet nutritious on the table.  Will you have room in the car for your most useful kitchen resources?    

Some have found a George Foreman, crockpot, rice cooker, or toaster oven to be handy.  If you’ll be living in a hotel for a few weeks, a George Foreman can cut costs.  You can grill meats and vegetables or make grilled cheese sandwiches, paninis, or quesadillas.  

Also, consider low maintenance foods and supplies–many you might pack for a picnic.  Here are a few ideas:

• Plastic silverware and dishes.
• Bananas, apples, oranges, pears, carrots, and dried fruits.  
• If travel is long, for snack and sandwich variety, buy 2-3 different types of nuts and nut butters.
• Popcorn provides a whole grain option, as does Cheerios.
• Whole grain cereal, bagels, boiled eggs, or yogurt parfaits for breakfast.
• Milk, cheese, and yogurt in the cooler.
• Vegetables with hummus and dips.
• Trailmix can be a snack or main dish.
• Nitrate-free lunchmeats on 100% whole wheat make great sandwiches and wraps.
• Handheld can opener for opening beans, canned vegetables, or tuna.
• Wash, chop, and bag cucumbers, mushrooms, peppers, and celery in hotel rooms. All you need is a few snack bags and one knife.
• If you plan to order pizza, buy some gallon size freezer bags to store leftovers in a cooler. Eat it cold the next day.  
• Restaurants often add sugar and other harmful ingredients to salad dressings. Consider storing your own in a cooler.   
• Water bottles.

If you’re headed overseas (or coming back), during airport travel, trailmix, popcorn, nuts, salads, fruit, yogurt parfaits, boiled eggs, water, and sandwiches with whole wheat bread are all healthier than baked pretzels, french fries, candy, and sugar sweetened beverages.  If you have a layover, stop at a nicer restaurant and order salad or vegetable sides.  Once to your destination, take advantage of lending closets or meeting new neighbors for a few items.  Also, if headed overseas, take advantage of the new cultural experience and jump into trying the local food.  

No matter what you need to do to survive PCS, plan to watch portion sizes.  Oh, and don’t forget the dark chocolate!  Dark chocolate is a mood booster and stress reliever.

This process is something that takes time and should be considered a journey you and your family are on together.

For the Family – Preparing for homecoming
The first days and weeks of homecoming are exciting and usually involve ceremonies and “welcome home” activities. Here are some ways to help make this time as wonderful as you expect, while not raising stress levels.

• Keep the lines of communication open with your ombudsman or FRG leader. They will need to keep you updated with travel and arrival changes. 

• FRG suggestion – Create a “Welcome Home” banner with ALL the unit serviceperson’s names on it. There will be some returnees who do not have a family member or friend to welcome them, so including everyone will ensure no one is left out!

• When meeting your serviceperson, have a large poster with his/her name on it so it can be spotted easily.

• Bring someone who can take pictures for you to the welcome home ceremony – just someone who knows you but doesn’t need to be involved in the hugging. Why?

          o It allows you to focus on the reunion without worrying about the pictures. 
          o The photographer is an “observer” and can capture your moments. 
          o You get to be in the pictures instead of behind the camera.

• Everyone is different in what they envision for their reunion. Include your returning serviceperson in your homecoming party plans so he/she knows what to expect. You should discuss:

          o Does he/she want a party immediately, or to wait a few weeks to settle in?
          o Should the party be large enough to include extended family members and friends, or just those of you at home?

• During the first few days, realize that your returning serviceperson will likely want to sleep. Don’t be offended by this. It takes time to physically adjust and soon he/she will get back into the groove.

Speaking of Parties:  Some options to get you started
Small and intimate: “We had a small welcome home party with just my returning wife, me, and the kids. I made a great dinner and just let her sit back and enjoy.”
 
Later and informal: “We waited about two or three weeks and had a big outside barbeque with our parents and friends. My returning loved one was so grateful that she didn’t have to have lots of people around right away.”
 
A Block party: This one is great for even shorter assignments. “When my husband returned, we included everyone in a welcome home block party in the neighborhood. People helped by preparing dishes, we set up grills in the street, and my husband felt free to ‘hang back’ and reconnect as he wanted to.”
 
A great gift idea: One mother kept a copy of all the emails and replies she exchanged with her son during his assignment. She printed and three-hole punched them, and put them together in a notebook. She gave him this book at his homecoming party. As he was readjusting to being home, he loved rereading these because it let him remember all he had done on assignment to help others.
 
Welcome home.

A woman’s husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.  When he came too, he motioned for her to come near her.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what?  You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.  You know what?”

“What dear?” she asked gently.

“I think you bring me bad luck.”

When you started your relationship, you talked like an optimist, expressing joy and happiness about building a future together. As the years progressed, you and your mate probably shifted into a pessimistic auto-mode, in which you talk more about what is wrong and less about what is right.

How can you renew the optimistic feeling you once enjoyed?  For one thing, find a single positive in your relationship every day and say it out loud.  Yes, you think your spouse knows that you are happy when he/she arrives home, but if you don’t smile and greet your mate with a warm hello or a hug, then you are leaving your honey in the dark. 

Even if things aren’t perfect at home, every day you must find one upbeat moment to focus on.  For instance, if you and your partner bicker a lot, but were more civil on a certain day, point that out: “Hey did you notice that we didn’t argue at all today?  I am proud of us.” Or if your mate made a generous offer, recognize it and say, “That was kind of you to offer to go to the doctor with me. Your support means a lot.” Just because your mate did something to tick you off early in the day don’t ignore something positive done later in the day.

Next, choose your friends wisely. On the TV show Saturday Night Live there is a recurring hilarious skit about the Needlers, “a bickering couple who should be divorced.” The couple is always complaining, fighting, or rudely putting each other down in front of others. They are a toxic couple, sapping other people’s optimism and draining their energy. If you have the misfortune of spending time with a couple like them, I suggest you exit as soon as possible because pessimism and optimism are contagious. It is rewarding to spend time with people who are upbeat and show appreciation and respect for each other.

Finally, practicing optimism means finding and sharing a variety of activities with people who inspire love, peace, joy in your life.  Don’t make your love relationship the one meaningful thing you have.  Widen your lens. Get involved with people and interests to complement your relationship with your mate.  Do you like to go for walks in the park?  Do you enjoy exercise, yoga, sports or cooking?  Do you have a close friend who likes to do those things?  Call him or her more often.  Do you like to write, paint or knit? Then introduce your child to those activities.

If becoming a love optimist seems like work to you, just consider the time and energy you will waste as a pessimist who instills anxiety, worry, anger, and fear into your relationship.  Practice these uplifting strategies and in days you will discover that you like yourself, your mate and your life, much more.

Detrimental Emails can:

1.  Make or break your business
2. Make or break sales negotiations
3. Make or break recovery of a bad situation or business activity

Example of a Detrimental Email:  “I know we spoke today, but I wanted to make sure you understood my exact point when pointing out my point. Understand?”

Yes, I actually received an email such as this from a person trying to make a strong point.

Knowing that emails can do SO much damage, we as an American society, still treat emails as pen-pal correspondence, much to the detriment of our intellect.

Over-Thinking Emails that Say Nothing “In accordance with pending Board rulings which propel the new directive to fully cooperate with managerial facilitation which pertains to the orientation of new hires be taken at all levels of authority, hereto this day.”

Say What?

When writing a “read me” email remember 6 simple rules:

1.       Get to the point in the first four sentences:

“Tara – It was great to speak with you on the phone the other day. The plans you have to expand your market reach are impressive and I thank you for including my organization as part of your expansion plan. You can count me in.”

Getting to the point quickly – in a polite and enthusiastic tone – screams to the reader that you are a decisive person who’s joyful in all that you do. No matter how you’re feeling when you write an email –you MUST come across as:

• Interested
• Enthusiastic
• Compassionate
• Decisive 

2.       ALWAYS Spell Check – every email : every time

3.       Research the appropriate title of the person you are writing to

Ms. / Mrs. / Mr. / Dr. / Admiral / General / Honorable / Esquire / Captain / ect.

4.       Ensure you use the correct first and last name of the person you are writing to

When I receive an email that addresses me as Mr. Kloeppel or Debbie or Betty – I really do not read the rest of the email

5.       Never – and I mean never use mass email without the blind copy status.

Nothing is more irritating than receiving an email in which 100 other people are in the address place holder. Besides, you might be sending the email addresses of your best funders, super-clients, and private marketing list to recipients who should NOT use those email addresses for outside marketing purposes.

6.       “The Tell-Tale Heart” Emails.
Take care when forwarding on a long train of emails that it doesn’t include a derogatory reference in an earlier message to an addressee who has since been added on; additionally, double-check email addresses before clicking “send” to ensure you haven’t included the one person you absolutely did NOT want to receive your email.  Many employees have been fired for sending unintentional emails to the boss!

Here are 5 Goals You Should Strive For When Writing Winning Emails:

1.       Eye Appeal for a Business Setting

• Don’t use juvenile fonts, colors, pictures and sayings in business emails

2.       Enhance Your Message Format – Clean and Crisp 

• When sending an e-newsletter, ensure you place the first and/or last name with the proper title and NOT – “Dear Insert Your Name Here”
• Don’t take over the entire front page space with your newsletter – ensure you have space for an introduction of the newsletter you are sending

3.       Transition the paragraphs peferctly 

• In addition to
• On another subject
• Equally important
• Additionally
• In Closing
• On another important matter

4.       Orderly Sentences

• Purchase a fourth grade English book – honestly! Everything you need to know when forming a proper sentence – you learned in fourth grade.

5.       Brief emails that are concise, that contain orderly sentences, written in a joyful tone :

• Win Contracts
• Gain Influence
• Give the Power to Persuade
• Leave a positive note that makes the recipient want to hear from you again

Those that follow my column know that I don’t believe in staycations. The whole purpose of a vacation is to VACATE your home!  Vacations don’t need to be feared as a financial vortex if planned correctly. We are here to help.  Here are some tips to help you plan ahead.

1)      Look for coupons – You would be surprised how many destinations have discount books offered to incoming visitors.  The only bad thing about these books is that you need to actively search for them. Contacting a destination’s Visitors Center or Convention and Visitors Bureau is the place to start. Entertainment Book coupons are fantastic if you plan ahead. Ordering the book mid-spring means a cheaper price. The book usually sells for $30-$40, but during spring specials (usually around any holiday), you can get the book for $18 or less and it potentially offers you HUNDREDS of dollars worth of discounts.  In addition to coupons, the purchase includes access to the “Entertainment Travel Discount” that can offer you up to 50% off hotel rates. It also includes coupons for rental cars, airfare and attractions which are very handy.

2)      Consider Association Discounts – AAA, credit unions, USAA, Teachers Associations, etc all offer discounted travel rates. Don’t leave any stone unturned when looking for a travel discount.  You’d be surprised what you’ll find.

3)      Call hotel- For hotel discounts, call the hotel directly. When you contact a hotel and ask for reservations, they usually transfer to their national operators. The problem with that is that the national reservation operators can only offer the rates available on their computer.  There is no room exceptions. When calling a hotel, ask for “in-house reservations”.  If they say they don’t have in-house reservations, ask for the front desk. At the front desk, ask for a manager. They will no doubt ask you if there is anything they can do to help you. Explain your plea for a discounted rate to anyone you talk to from this point on.  They have the authority to offer you the lowest rate available, match a competitors rate or even offer you a military discount that their computer (and the internet) might say is sold out. Be polite and don’t be presumptuous that they HAVE TO give you a discount. Remember, the nicer you are, the more humble, the more likely they are to want to help you.

4)      Military Discounts – Always ask if any military discounts are available. It never hurts to ask and the worst they can say is no.  Military travel discounts are not like other discounts. They are not offered to entice you to visit (well, they are but that’s not the only reason). Military discounts main purpose is to HONOR you as members of the military. The travel industry is always eager to honor you any way they can so sometimes for asking, you can get a pleasant surprise.

5)      Visit www.GuidetoMilitaryTravel.com- Here is a little known fact. I’m not just a travel journalist. I used to be in the travel industry for MANY years meaning I know the inside secrets. The travel industry treats me as an insider which gives me access to deals and discounts not made available to anyone else. I work directly with popular destinations like Anaheim, Orlando and San Antonio to encourage hotels and attractions to offer military discounts.  Many of the discounts found on our site cannot be found anywhere else. We’ve done most of the research for you.  If there is a destination we don’t have enough information about, contact us.  I can contact my connections at that destination and start the ball rolling for them compile a list of discounts you can use AND that we can list for others traveling to the area. All you need to do is plan ahead, let us know where you are traveling to and let us do the research for you. It’s that easy!

Taking a vacation shouldn’t fall victim to the economy. As members of the military, you have so many discounts to take advantage of.  We pay a fraction of what our civilian counterparts would pay for the same vacation. It is a privilege we should take advantage of for the benefit of our family and our sanity. 

For more information, visit www.GuidetoMilitaryTravel.com or email me at Erica@GuidetoMilitaryTravel.com.

Did you know more than half of American adults are overweight or obese?

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, the actual number is 66 percent. Imagine a map of the U.S. showing the Mississippi River. Then imagine everyone west of the river is obese. 

The problem is just that big.

According to the American Dietetic Association, if you’re overweight or obese, you’re at a higher risk of: 

• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Diabetes
• Certain cancers
• Liver and gallbladder disease
• Infertility

You’ve probably heard that with proper diet and exercise, you can lose weight and keep it off. But you may not know about this other little secret that can help.

Keep a Journal

“Keeping a food and exercise log can help you achieve the weight loss results you want,” said Meghean Cook, a health coach at TriWest Healthcare Alliance. “A log is a way to hold yourself accountable for the foods you put into your mouth and the activity you choose to do.”

[Download a weight loss journal now.]

Cook said keeping a food journal may reveal habits you didn’t even know existed. Do you grab a snack every time you pass the candy jar at work? Do you nibble all day, then eat a huge meal at night? Do you drink too many high-calorie beverages in the morning?

Keeping a journal just doesn’t work for food, but for exercise too.

“Recording your exercise can be very motivating to see your progress. You may notice you can walk farther, longer or faster,” Cook said. “Or you may notice you are stronger in your daily tasks because of the strength training you have been doing.” 

The key is this: keep it honest.

Want to get started right now with your weight loss journal? Download one immediately by visiting TriWest.com/eathealthy!

My husband and I were just married. This is our first deployment. I don’t really know what to expect. There is tons of information and a lot that I don’t understand. My biggest question is how are you able to talk to them when they are deployed? How long do you go without hearing from your soldier?

Amber; Fort Bragg, NC;
Active Army spouse; 3 months

Dear Amber:

You’re right, there is a lot of information and being new to the military, and facing a deployment, is certainly a challenge. Hopefully some of the information we have for you can ease your mind a bit. First and foremost, you need to understand that there is no one size fits all answer to your question. We wish you could tell you how often you will hear from your soldier, but honestly we can not. Many things will depend on what area your husband is deployed to and the resources (i.e. internet connection) that are available in that area. We always suggest that family members ask their soldier how and how often they want to communicate. It’s also important you ask them what they want communicated—bad news, daily business, town current events, etc.

Thankfully modern technology has made it possible to have many more choices for communication mediums. Recent feedback at ArmyWifeNetwork’s Facebook page showed that military spouses communicated with their soldiers who were away from home in a variety of ways.

Email       

You can utilize your email that already exists to communicate back and forth. However, in order to be more secure we recommend having your soldier create an Army Knowledge Online (AKO) email account for you. Visit AKO at https://www.us.army.mil, Navy Knowledge Online, or Air Force Portal as appropriate.

Instant Messaging

There are many instant messaging programs available. Some of the most popular are Windows Live Messenger (http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/messenger/home), Yahoo IM (http://messenger.yahoo.com/), or Skype (http://www.skype.com). For secure instant messaging you’ll need to set up your AKO account as described above and utilize the free integrated AKO IM program. Of course, there is facebook as well. In the past four years, instant messaging across the miles has nearly doubled (according to our unofficial surveying), and facebook has definitely been the big reason behind that.

Phone Calls

Your soldier will receive access to Morale Welfare and Recreation (MWR) calls. These calls are usually fifteen minutes in length and are made at a call center or from some soldiers’ offices. We heard many stories of soldiers utilizing Skype VOIP services or purchasing personal cell phones to make calls too. We also saw recommend a service for discounted phone cards, SPAWAR. Find out more at http://www.spawarcafes.net/. 

Letters & Packages

It is sad to see the percentage of hand-written letters dwindling over the years. Unique, personalized care packages and handwritten letters are worth their weight in gold. We have many ideas on our website for special care packages. There are benefits associated with the mailing system as well. For starters your soldier can mail regular envelope sized letters using FREE MAIL so don’t worry about mailing stamps! Additionally, the USPS offers discounts to military families who utilize their flat rate boxes to ship to APO/FPO addresses. Find out more at http://www.usps.com/supportingourtroops/.

Our last suggestion is to think “outside the box.” Instead of an email, figure out how to send an e-greeting card or e-video. Get a third party involved by enlisting the help of care package charities at OurMilitary.mil. (This helps keep costs down). Or send a gift card or AAFES gift certificate so your soldier can choose their heart’s desire or the real necessities as they see fit.

Have other questions? To submit your Field Problem™, e-mail FromTheField@
ArmyWifeNetwork.com. Please include your first name, location, branch of service, and years in/associated with the military. Questions may be edited for length and clarity. Field Problems™ reserves the right to read on the air and/or publish on its Web site or in any other form the emails and letters that we receive. By sending us a letter or email, you agree to these terms.

© 2005-2012, Crooks and Henderson. Field Problems™ is an exclusive Army Wife Network column by authors and military spouses Tara Crooks & Starlett “Star” Henderson. Receive this and other AWN news right in your inbox by signing up at http://www.ArmyWifeNetwork.com. Field Problems™ is just one solution to the challenges encountered by military families in Crooks and Henderson’s kitbag. Ask about workshops or Field Exercises™ customized to solve your or your organization’s Field Problems™.

Good rule of thumb when building a stockpile: Use only four like coupons a trip.

I have three stages I go through with my stockpile to help keep it from getting crazy.

Stage 1. STOCK! STOCK! STOCK! (2-3 months) – This is when I do most of my stockpiling. I watch the sales every week, keep my coupons organized, and shop those sales. Yes. You shop every week.

Maggie’s Tips:

1. Do this step when the kids are in school. Being able to go to the grocery store with no or less children means less distractions.
2. Keep a running list of what you already have.
3. Update your price book each time you shop.
4. STAY WITHIN YOUR PRE-SET GROCERY BUDGET if you want to set aside more money, fine. Do so at the beginning of your month.

This stage can get exhausting. Be careful not to burn out completely. Many beginners stock pile too much from the start and lose sight of their goal: to save money on their grocery budget. That is the reason why I recommend only stockpiling for two to three months.

Stage 2. Use and stock (1 month) – I start to dwindle my stockpiling efforts, tending to cook more from the pantry and only buying what I know I will use. Still go to the grocery store and stock up when something hits a great price, but shop only every other week if you can stretch your produce.

Maggie’s Tips:

1. Still watch the sale ads for commonly used items.
2. Keep up your coupon organization and price book
3. If you already have a three-month supply of an item, do not buy more.

Many couponers forget to ease off the stockpiling. We get so focused and addicted to the thrill of saving money that it can consume our daily lives. Taking the stockpiling down a step helps find a balance between grocery shopping, couponing, and family life.

Stage 3. Deplete (2-3 months) – This is the stage where you just stop stockpiling all together. Period. Stop couponing and take a much-needed break. Use your stash up and enjoy life. I tend to deplete over the summer and Christmas holidays.  Summer and Christmas holidays are when I am at my busiest. I would rather spend time with my family at home than at the grocery store. This is my personal preference. Summer I tend to have a garden where I get a bunch of produce and go to farmers markets and Christmas we are always eating with others. So many forget to take a break that they burn out completely and give up on couponing all together.

By going through this three-stage process I waste less food, save more money, and have a more reasonable stockpile.

Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter is a really good kid, but she can’t seem to remember anything for more than five minutes. We constantly have to harp at her about things that should be habits, like brushing her teeth every morning. Is there something wrong with her? Why can’t she remember to do things like that on her own?

A: Unfortunately, you and your daughter aren’t living in the same world—at least not at the same time. In your world, people remember to brush their teeth (but do you always floss?). In hers, there are so many other things going on that it’s easy to get distracted. Things that seem critical to you may not even be on her radar at all. So expecting her to act like a mini adult is unrealistic.

What I’m getting at is that from what you’re describing, it’s pretty unlikely that there’s anything wrong with your daughter’s memory, other than losing track of time or having her priorities in a different order than yours. That said, there are a few steps you can take to keep her on track.

• Have her take care of personal hygiene first thing in the morning. Most of us hit the bathroom as soon as we get up, and rather than letting her come out and eat breakfast or start her day, make sure she gets the teeth brushing, hair combing, and whatever else out of the way first.
• Buy stock in 3M (the maker of Post-Its). Put up reminders in places where she tends to forget things. One on the bathroom mirror for teeth and hair, one on the dishwasher saying “Unload Me,” one on the clothes dryer saying “Fold me”—you get the point. The important thing is to put these reminders where she’ll see them on a regular basis.
• Alternatively, stop reminding her. You may think that you’re doing the right thing by bugging her constantly, but you might actually be making the problem worse by increasing her dependence on you. If you stop reminding her for a few days, she’ll probably come around shortly.
• Children don’t have a lot of power so they often act out in ways that give them some control over their lives. It’s entirely possible that her “forgetting” to brush her teeth or anything else is her way of rebelling against you. Stranger things have happened. If you think this might be the case, taking the approach in the paragraph above might reduce some of the friction.
• Keep paying attention. While most kids are going to forget things from time to time, your daughter’s issue might be a bit more than just being easily distracted or forgetful. If you try a few different approaches and nothing seems to work, you may want to have her pediatrician weigh in. There are a number of conditions that can produce behavior like this, including Asperger’s, ADD, ADHD, and even high-functioning autism (of which Asperger’s is a subset). Of course, no parent wants to believe that his or her child has any kind of disability. But it’s not as bleak as you might think. Mental health concerns are more easily diagnosed today and most require little if any medication. In fact, many of them can be managed by modifying behavior, counseling, and being supported by a loving, caring parent.

Again, the chances are good that your daughter’s behavior is completely normal, but stay sharp and be willing to go the extra mile if it seems like there’s something else at work here.

The Lunging Ladder begins with two medium weights in your hands. Step your left foot back into a lunge, far enough away that your right knee is directly over your right ankle and your left heel is off the ground. Lift your right arm overhead and drop the weight behind your neck by bending your elbow. The elbow should point up to the sky. This is set position.

Get moving by straightening the legs and coming forward to balance on the right leg.

Bring the left knee up to hip level to activate the abs, while lifting your left hand into a hammer curl for the biceps, palm facing the center line of the body, and lifting your right hand to the sky into a French press for the triceps.

Bend the knees again to lower, and lower both arms to the set position. Repeat up and down together for 15 reps.

Switch the position so your right leg is back, and left hand is overhead and repeat on the other side.

You’ve just climbed the ladder to looking more like Spiderman in less time than it takes to throw a web. Next up: climbing buildings!

Fitness — fit it in!