Deployments: Beginnings vs. Ends

Deployments are funny things.

They are (of course) very much a challenging part of this military spouse life, and they’re always full of surprises. As I type this, sitting in the Fort Lewis Starbucks, we’re in the homestretch of our latest deployment. (Yes. We see the humorous signs that homecoming is coming!)

Hopefully by the time this post publishes, my Beloved Husband and I will be back in the same zip code. (Pending broken planes, incorrect scheduling, etc.)

And, as it is with most military adventures, I’ve taken some time recently to reflect on my personal behaviors during this deployment.

What’s surprised me the most is the drastic difference between the beginnings and ends of deployments on the home front.

Since humor is one of my primary coping mechanisms (and a reason my house is still standing some days) I now present to you a comedic comparison of the beginning vs. end of a deployment. #ItsFunnyCuzItsTrue

1. Attitude

Beginning: Although I’m bummed at the beginning of a deployment with the recent departure of my main squeeze, my attitude is typically that of motivation and strength. I am looking for any opportunity and How to America in my daily life. I get busy, pumped, and ready to conquer all the things!

End: My attitude at the end of a deployment is best expressed in hashtags: #OverIt #WrapItUpAmerica #SoDone #WhatIsTheLastPossibleMomentICanWaitToShaveMyLegs

2. Physical/Self Care 

Beginning: Much like my attitude, when a deployment begins, my hygiene flourishes. I’m still getting my hair done on a regular basis, kicking booty and taking names with my workouts, and actually enjoying my solitude.

End: The very end of a deployment, my physical/self care spikes back close to “beginning” points, mainly to counteract the fact that it experienced a pretty major slump in the middle. (Jeans? Who’s gonna wear jeans?!) My brows closely resemble caterpillars, and my workout motivation kind of fell off around month who-knows-when. A few days (or weeks) out from the end, I get re-pumped up to try and undo (or redo?) everything I haven’t done or already did do but shouldn’t have done.

3. Daily Schedule

Beginning: Again, I find myself uber motivated. “Let’s go do all the things!” I tell my tiny human excitedly! I stay involved, busy, and engaged scheduling-wise, just because it really does help the time go more quickly. I cook supper every night, plan, schedule, communicate, I rock it. For a while. Until…

End: I hit my wall. I begin to care not-so-much about stuff that is unrelated to the return of my husband. I try to stay super busy so not to accidentally glance at the calendar and realize how many/few days we have left. Plus, I realize at the end of deployment just how much work it is to solo-parent a kid (or more) for any duration of time. My priorities (rightly) shift from doing all the things to doing the major things that involve keeping my kid alive and (mostly) clothed. (Don’t judge. She likes being naked.) Which brings me to my final category…

4. Parenting

Beginning: This one closely ties with the previous topic. In the beginning, I get my kid involved in activities, I make an effort to ensure she’s wearing (clean) matching clothes every day, and strive to feed her a semi-balanced diet for meals.

End: As we near the end of our separated-by-duty experience, my parenting starts to slide. All those semi-strict screen time rules? Meh. Watch another show. Mama is tired. Want pancakes or cereal for supper? Coming up! Bedtime? Schmedtime. We get there when we get there. (Unless tiny human is being a holy terror, then I reserve the right to put her to bed before the sun hits the horizon.)

 

 

But do you know what, dear readers? The change we face during a deployment cycle is just that—a cycle. A season. A circle if you will. The circle of milspouse life. (Please, someone humor me and cue up the opening song to The Lion King right now. Bonus if you hold a small child up to present Mufasa-style.)

We can take the deployment cycle of life with a smile, knowing that eventually the plane will land, the gear will be unloaded, and we will finally get our reunion that we have been not-so-patiently waiting for.

And bonus… There will be supper waiting for your service member at home. (Hurry up, honey! Your pancakes are getting cold!)

What differences do you notice during a deployment or separated-by-duty experience? We always love to hear from you. Chime in by leaving a comment below.