Attitude of Gratitude, 365

I would say that for the most part, I am a pretty optimistic, positive person with an attitude of gratitude.

But honestly, I have my days where that is so not the case.

I try to look on the bright side of things, but on the days when this milspouse life is extra challenging, my attitude changes from positive to negative quicker than you can say, “Wait… the Army wants us to do what now?”

However, I have learned that having a positive attitude is one of the best ways to not only to survive this roller coaster ride that is loving a service member but to thrive.

With a little practice, we can keep a hold of that positive outlook by training ourselves to have an attitude of gratitude, 365 days a year.

Just like our beloved service members, we are called to possess this attitude of gratitude year round. Just like they don’t stop being service members on Christmas,  or birthdays, or during deployments, or on the exceptionally hard days, we shouldn’t stop finding the good in every single one of our moments.

There are several ways to make an attitude of gratitude not just a cool concept to talk about on the good days, but make it a way of life in all our days.

Here are four ways to create an attitude of gratitude:

1. Make a list.

Seriously. Ann Voskamp, bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts, challenges us to do just that. Start a list of the things you are grateful for, from the big stuff (friends that take us to the airport at 4 a.m.) to the small stuff (a fancy iced-mocha-whatever-you-like coffee.) This trains our brains to look for the sweet moments of life so that when the hard stuff comes along, our perspective is tempered and more positive. I have a gift list and recently broke 3000. Let me tell you what—I feel so joyful, encouraged, and motivated when I flip back through that little red journal and see the blessings I have experienced.

2. Focus on the positive.

Things seem to be a mess? Take a step back and try to see the good in the situation. A challenging military moment? Perhaps that is an opportunity for you and your service member to deepen your relationship. A sudden PCS? Try to look at as an adventure. Who knows what awaits you on the other end!

3. The service member and the job are separate entities.

This is a big one for me. When I said yes to marrying my beloved soldier, he made me promise one thing: “Sharita, military life is hard and frustrating. Please remember that I usually have as much control over my situation as you do, which equals close to none. Know that I love you, and the Army and I are two separate things—don’t take the hard circumstances out on me.”

I have held this promise close to my heart ever since. It has helped us grow closer and not blame one another when the going gets tough. Instead, we’re able to work together to find things to be grateful for in the moment. Ultimately, this helps us cultivate an attitude of gratitude that is so important for thriving in this loving-a-service-member-journey.

4. Never quit.

There is a line in the soldier’s creed that says “I will never quit.” We should adopt that, too, especially on our quest to keep an attitude of gratitude 365 days per year. Yes, we are going to have rough days when we snap at the kids, get angry at the dog, and are ready to throw in the towel. But, that doesn’t mean we quit all together. We can push pause, take a deep breath, and dig deep to find the good in the situation. We have kids to love. A dog to care for. A house for shelter, food in our bellies, and clothes on our backs. It is all about perspective.

Be encouraged and press forward in your quest to see the bright side of life. After all, when we said yes to loving our service member, we also said yes to cultivating an attitude of gratitude, 365.

So, dear readers, on a scale of 1-10, how developed is your attitude of gratitude? What steps can you take to grow it in your life? I always welcome feedback. Feel free to leave a comment.