Which Season Are You In? 

It took a joyous, fast-paced (COVID-style) courthouse wedding to open my eyes to the importance of knowing what season of life you are in.

If military life had a season cycle, it would start in spring with the first duty station, followed by the career building frenzy of summer. All that experience and education would be put to good use in the fall and finally end in winter with the last duty station, and eventually . . . retirement.

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Seeking Spouses for a Life Less Ordinary

Author’s note: This post is dedicated to all the Army spouses who hesitate when someone asks the loaded, complicated question, “And what do you do?”

Those four little words can have a big impact on our psyche. It even prompted an Army wife in Great Britain to create an exhibit, “Not Just a Wife,” filled with creative art and testimonies from army spouses married to British service members.

“Not just a wife.”  Four more impactful words loaded with untapped emotion, frustration, and pride.

It triggered a thought wave for me about recruitment slogans and which ones (if any) would be effective in recruiting spouses to marry into the Army. Bear with me, I was alone in my car with nothing but my thoughts for about four days and I became obssessed rather quickly.

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Lucky 13

So, here we are… A freshly redeployed soldier, a graduated senior, and a spouse who finds herself reluctant to leave an amazing job and incredible neighbors. We sold the house and are about to embark on a shaky PCS across the country during the great Pandemic, and by the way, it’s move number 13.

Lucky 13…What could possibly go wrong?

As I try not to stress out over the logistics of this particular move, I decided to retrain my brain by reflecting on our past 12 moves and the lessons and blessings each one of those moves gave to us.

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We See Each Other, and That is Enough

When I started to write this article in honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I honestly was not sure where I wanted to go with it.  I “crowdsourced” a bit to find out what the expectations were from groups of military spouses, and I received answers that ranged from “I didn’t even know there was such a day,” to “My husband gives me a spa day every year.”

(Yes, there is always one spouse getting a spa day. Let’s try to not hate her.)

But, as I dove deeper into the meaning of the day and read articles about the day’s origin (Thank you, President Reagan!) and past celebrations, I was led to ask a very important question.

Who do we really want to appreciate us on May 8?

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Senior Strong 2020

Attention Class of 2020! It’s time to stand up, straighten your mortarboard, and make a new plan.

There is no going back. With each and every new press conference at local, state, and national levels, the light of truth keeps getting brighter, and you can not deny that it is time to embrace what we love to call “The New Normal.”

Before you start to get feisty about my blunt words, let me say this… I am wearing three hats as I write this.

I am a high school teacher, I am a parent of a 2020 senior, and I am an Army spouse who has had her fair share of missed milestones. I am not chastising or shaming anyone—I am just a realist. My hope is that in the aftermath of all this, we raise up a whole class of realists.

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Love The One You’re With

“Got any Valentine’s Day plans?”

That simple question can evoke a range of reactions from women all over world, but to a milspouse with a loved one downrange, you may want to take a step back when asking.

Unfortunately, like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day is often greeted with unrealistic expectations. If you have a love in your life, it is a day of plans and giddiness. If you are without your love, let’s just call you the Grinch That Stole Valentine’s Day.

But you don’t have to be!

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The ‘Doggone’ Truth About Community

After saying goodbye to my husband four months ago, one of the soldiers of rear detachment stopped me in the parking lot and told me that if there was anything I needed help with during the deployment to please call him. This is not uncommon in the military world, and his words were comforting on such a raw, emotional day.

I told him there were two things I didn’t want to have to do during this deployment: buy a car and put my dog down.

Sadly, I had to do both this month and no other words will suffice…

It just sucked.

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The Duty Station Not Taken

Last week, I challenged my high school juniors to take Robert Frost’s most celebrated poem and write their own version. The assignment instructed them to write about being faced with a decision, something they were unsure of, but might change them in some way.

The only catch was that they had to follow the same rhyme scheme modeled in the poem, and they had to keep the last original line.

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Tacos, Nuts, and Food for Thought

Most days, I arrive at my job rushed and frantic in spite of my best efforts to get up on the first alarm and my best intentions to not check my email before I even roll out of bed.

I am a work in progress on both accounts.

But when I enter my classroom every morning, my eyes automatically connect with three posters that I have strategically placed to inspire my students when they walk in the room. My students need to see the words on the three posters. They have faced much adversity in their young lives, and sometimes they just need some encouragement.

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