Recon Rendezvous: Backward Compliments

Welcome to AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous link up! We’re so glad you are here. Just as the name implies, Recon Rendezvous is a place for community and connection. It’s an opportunity to explore and learn about our fellow military supporters’ lives, victories, trials, and experiences.

Each month, we “rendezvous” here to provide information, resources, and encouragement. So do some “reconnaissance,” link up, swing by your “neighbor,” and leave a comment. We appreciate you! Thanks for contributing to our interactive empowerment for military spouses around the globe.


Early on in most courtships, compliments flow like honey:

Darling, your eyes sparkle like the stars in the heavens. 

Honey, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. 

Sweetheart, your voice is like an angel, and I dream about you every day. 

And then we get married.

And we get all militarized.

I’m not saying that to be rude or spiteful—for many, it’s a statement of fact. The infatuation wears off and real life hits. It’s wonderful that we get more and more comfortable as the years pass and, at the same time, our sense of humor deepens.

Why? Because military life is too serious as it is. And when our dear service members are up to their eyeballs in all things military, it’s hard (if not sometimes impossible) for them to switch back and forth from being a service member one minute and Romeo the next.

We often find ourselves on the receiving end of some unintentional backward compliments.

As spouses, we can do one of two things when this happens: Get all snippety-grumpy and take offense or take the compliment at face value knowing that our service member is generally good-willed toward us, and their just speaking the language ingrained into the deepest part of their being.

I was pondering this idea of “backward milspouse compliments” and opened up a discussion on my Facebook page.

I am still laughing at the responses.

Many of the “compliments” were funny because they were true.

I’ve picked the ones that most directly pertain to being a milspouse and want to offer you the interpretation of what he says versus what he really means.

1. “Wow, honey, this tastes better than a Chili Mac MRE.”

The first time my husband said something like this, I got offended. Of course, it tasted better than an MRE! I spent hours preparing that meal and none of it involved a pop-snap-water-heater packet or re-hydration of anything.

Now I know this is a legit compliment from a man who spends a large chunk of his life eating portable meals out of large envelope-like packages. Our service members have their favorite meals, and your meal rivals their in-the-field-duty fave. That’s a big deal!

2. “Darling, you are so much hotter than my battle buddy.”

Apparently, this has been said to more than one milspouse on the planet. Our first reaction is to question our competition. Let’s be honest, if we don’t have a high and tight haircut identical to our husband’s or the Sunday-night-do-I-gotta-shave-before-Monday-morning-face-stubble, then it should be no contest, right?

But, we must remember that men are very visual, and even if he might be joshing a bit, battle buddy bonds in the military are like none other. I’m flattered whenever my husband thanks me publicly as his “number one battle buddy.” (Although I am grateful that he doesn’t mention the “hotness” factor in front of the entire company… #Awkward)

3. “You are the most resilient person I know.”

Of all the adjectives to describe a mate, and they pick “resilient?” C’mon! But let’s think about it. A resilient person is the one who is going to love their service member through the thick and thin, changed orders, last minute departures, you name it.

When our service members refer to us as resilient, it’s a compliment because they’re essentially saying that they know we’ll be there waiting for, cheering them on, no matter what.

4. “Sweetie, I love you more than my guns.”

While it might seem petty to compare us to material possessions (whether owned or simply used at work,) if your service member says this to you, it means they love you a lot. Our service members are trained from day one that their weapons are their most treasured possession. They eat with it, sleep with it, carry it everywhere when in combat.

Know that if your service members says, “I love you more than my 50 cal,” then you’re right on target.

5. “Oh Lover, you are a great squad leader. Well, more of a team leader, but still.”

Holding down the fort as the Household 6 is quite the responsibility. If your service member comes home and drops this one on you, they’re speaking the leadership language they know. What they really mean is that you do a stellar job of teaching, guiding, and protecting the “troops” at home, and they trust you with this calling. Keep up the good work, soldier.

6. “Baby, you have awesome ruck-marching feet.”

This one is my favorite, because it’s the most memorable backward compliment I’ve ever received from my service member. We were newlyweds, sitting on our couch in Georgia. My husband was a drill sergeant at the time, so he was actually home (and awake!). He was rubbing my feet; I was practically swooning. He looks over at me, with love in his eyes, and in a tender voice says, “Baby, you have awesome ruck-marching feet.”

Um, thank you? Later, I realized that, to my infantryman, strong, non-blister-prone, healthy feet could make or break a service member (and/or mission.) Plus, I do have awesome ruck-marching feet—never gotten anything more than a hot spot in all my years of heel wearing or marathon running (or on the occasional “just for fun” ruck march.)

Know that if your service member comments on a part of your body in a military-esque language (ruck-marching feet, gear-carrying hips, gun-toting shoulders, etc.) it’s a high compliment on how they view the world.

 

 

Readers, we want to hear from you… What’s the best backward compliment that you have gotten from your spouse? Join the conversation and leave a comment. 

Oh, and won’t you grab our button and stick it on your website? Thanks!
Recon Rendezvous
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Sharita Knobloch

Sharita Knobloch

Sharita Knobloch has been married to her beloved infantryman husband Brandon for just shy of a decade. The joys and challenges of #ArmyWifeLife ignited her faith on a deep level, so she answered the call to ministry in July 2011. Soon after, Sharita received her Master’s Degree in Christian Leadership from Liberty University. She is currently in pursuit of her EdD in Educational Counseling with an emphasis in Pastoral Counseling, also from Liberty University. Sharita is not only an Army Wife, but is also a Tiny Human mama of two kiddos, a 6-year-old girl and a 2.5-year old boy. She is also a smallish-dog-owner, aspiring-runner, writer, speaker, and spiritual leadership coach. The Knobloch family believes that it is a great privilege to watch God work as they minister in their Army community, regardless of zip code or time zone. She has been serving with AWN in some capacity since February 2014 when she published her first blog for AWN, and has recently transitioned into the role of AWN Owner & Commander. Sharita gets way too excited about office supplies and journal shopping. She is a certified auctioneer, wore duct tape to senior prom (for a scholarship contest #DontJudge), loves napping, fitness, reading for fun, and cheering others on as they strive to reach their goals. Sharita overuses #Hashtags on a regular basis with #NoShame and frequently uses #America! as a verb.

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