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Many things about milspouse life are AWNsome… but we admit, deployments usually aren’t one of them. Your AWN Command Team members have been there, done that (and might even be doing the deployment thing as we speak), so we want to make sure you have all the resources you need to thrive during what can be a challenging season of milspouse life. Click images below or keep reading for more from our blog.
When you find out a deployment is on the horizon, everything begins to be filtered through a new lens—the lens of deployment.
I’ve had the great opportunity to go through three deployments in my marriage: the first we were married for six months and had 30 days notice, the second we had six months of notice, and the most recent, I had a whole total of a week’s notice. I’ve experienced that prepping for a deployment can look different depending on how much time you have, and truthfully, how long your service member will be gone.
There are countless resources for those facing a deployment. I have consolidated a number of them here for you. However, if you feel like you’re missing something specific to you, then take the reins and do a little digging. There is a good chance that someone else has asked that question and has posted about it online!
Deployments are seasons. Just like military life has seasons, deployment is one of those. Within deployment, however, I like to think of them as almost micro-seasons. There are a lot of ups and downs that come along.
A year is a long time. As I reflect back on my husband’s year long deployment, there are a few things that I found to be deployment lifesavers:
What does being a military spouse mean to you?
I have asked myself this question several times. And as I continue my journey as an army spouse, the answer to this question continually changes. Being a military spouse is not an easy role. When I’m having a particularly tough day, I like to ask myself this question.
We don’t talk enough in this country about mental health. This past year has been crazy for everyone. For me, it included having a baby, moving, and Chris deploying, so I was having a hard time handling life. Therefore, I decided to see an MFLC (Military and Family Life Consultant/Counselor).
It took about one minute after saying goodbye to my husband for it to feel like my entire world was turned upside down.
Living just the two of us and our dog in our tiny condo, I had grown accustomed to having him almost within an arm’s reach the majority of the time. We spent almost all of our time together, and once he left, I found myself doing our usual routine but becoming overwhelmingly saddened by his absence at every point during my day.
Everyone talks about how hard deployments are—that’s no secret. Of course, in the beginning, it’s about finding a routine. That’s the difficult part for the one at home. But what no one tells you is how hard the last couple of weeks of deployment is.
The week before a deployment.
When I look back, I barely remember that week. By that time, we had done all the chores we needed to do to prepare.
We had our paperwork in order.
His stuff was packed.
We had our new phone plan set up…
We had done it all.
Months and months of brainstorming and planning every way possible to prepare ourselves, and we had finished.
Deployments are tough—there is no way to sugar coat it. Being the spouse of a National Guard member, deployments are something that I never really thought about. I always assumed that they were something that happened to other people—people who were much better equipped to handle them.
But sure enough, I was wrong.
I feel like I blinked and found myself fist deep in a tub of cookie dough, crying, because my husband was being deployed. I read countless books and articles, and I played out thousands of scenarios in my head as to what it would be like. I thought about things, like missing out on celebrating holidays and special events, and the fact that I now would have to take out the trash and take the dog out late at night (my two least favorite chores).
A new friend and fellow milspouse just embarked on her first deployment, and she was telling me about some things she had successfully accomplished while her husband was gone.
As she accomplishes a task that perhaps her husband would have normally taken care of, she gives herself an imaginary pat on the back, takes a picture, and sends it to her husband with the hashtag #takingcareofbusiness. It’s become a cute way for her to share what’s going on day to day, build her confidence that she can do this, and also remind her husband that she’s doing just fine.
I thought it was such a great idea, so it got me thinking about the last 16 years of Army wife life and all the unique skills that I have developed, thanks to those Army-ordered times of separation.