Changes, Challenges, and Overcoming

I gave birth to my son on Feb. 2. It was a mostly relaxed labor as I did not dilly-dally and made sure I quickly got an epidural since I had an induction. After around 24 hours in labor, he was born in the late morning and weighed 6 lbs, 14 ounces. It was fairly surreal going through the whole process.

However, not very long after his birth, while I was still in the hospital, anxiety and the feeling of being overwhelmed quickly consumed me.

It wasn’t just that, though. I barely slept while I was in the hospital and had nurses in and out of my room all day and night waking me or delaying my sleep. I couldn’t shut off my thoughts which made it even worse.

The realization that my husband, who had only returned for a month from Korea for his mid-tour leave, was going to be leaving me all over again was too much to take.

I had trouble breastfeeding and became frustrated and upset. I felt even more sad because I imagined after having a baby I would be excited and happy, like I see so many other new parents being, and here I was feeling depressed and wondering what was wrong with me.

I didn’t feel like myself for weeks. I spent hours and weeks on end crying, and eventually my husband left to go back to Korea.

For days after he left I cried.

I had a newborn to take care of, and there wasn’t anyone else around. My family spent the whole month after the baby was born trying to call me or reach me in some way, and most of the time I ignored everyone and everything around me.

I eventually had to admit to myself that I was suffering from postpartum depression. I reached out to my doctor who took immediate action. I knew that I couldn’t carry on feeling this way, especially since my husband had another six months until his time in Korea would be over, and I had another person relying on me to take care of his needs.

After I got help from my doctor, and more time passed, I was able to adjust. Things have gotten much better. It is still difficult not having my husband around, but his time in Korea is almost over. I knew that I would have difficulty dealing with my husband’s departure, but I never knew it would get so overwhelming and I would be so out of sorts.

I’ve learned that it’s important to recognize when you need help. 

In some ways, being military spouses has put us at a disadvantage, especially when it comes to having babies while our service members are deployed or on unaccompanied tours. I feel lucky that I’ve been able to feel normal again, but I know it isn’t that simple for everyone. Taking on a new role as a parent and caregiver can be overwhelming. I hope that by sharing some of my experience I can encourage anyone who might be going through the same thing to ask for help. I promise you it will be worth it.

Have you, or someone you know, had a similar experience? What did you do to get through it? Sound off in the comments below!