Embarrassing Army Moments

Almost all of us have had them: embarrassing moments in front of an audience, be it one other person while on a date or in front of the varsity football team in high school. It seems the awkwardness of the teen years just isn’t enough. We also have to have embarrassing moments that come all too frequently around the same time.

What about now, though? What happens now that you are an adult? How do you handle sticking your foot in your mouth in front of the commanding officer?

“I’m Scott. You don’t have to call me ‘Sir.’”

“Oh, I know, but my father was military and southern, so I say ‘Sir’ to all of my elders.”

Um…foot in mouth! This man is only about four or five years older than me! Face-palm. We shortly finished our conversation, and I was glad I wouldn’t be the one getting an evaluation.

My one thought was, “At least I didn’t do something really embarrassing, like fall down the stairs at my husband’s company with all the soldiers looking on.”

No, I didn’t do that, but very recently, in my Sunday best, I ate it right in front of the commissary. There goes my pride, right there.

Let me set the stage…

Since no one can park too close to the commissary anymore, our commissary has two sets of curbs between the parking lot and the building. My family and I just left church and I had a few things to get at the commissary while my husband needed to stop by the PX.

He pulled up to the commissary to let me out. I opened the door to the Jeep and was looking straight ahead at the door of the building, forgetting that he pulled up to the second median strip, not the first which is the norm.

I didn’t look down and when I took one step I tripped face first into the dirt of the median strip—purse plummeting from my shoulder onto the dirt, hair going in every direction, and butt in the air—all in a dress. Fortunately, my hands were free to catch me, and the biggest issue after dirty hands was the bruise to my pride.

All I really remember from the fateful moment was a passer-by saying, “Are you alright, ma’am?” When I looked up I couldn’t tell who said that. All I saw were 40 people coming and going to and from the store, all looking at me.

My one son likes to use the term “famous” to mean having completed something successfully, perhaps more than once. At this time, I am debating about whether to return to the commissary. I’m not sure I want to be known as the woman “famous” for falling out of her car in front of the commissary.

What about you? What is your most embarrassing Army moment? Using regional words that are misunderstood by the general’s wife? Asking your FRG leader when the baby is due just to find she had the baby 15 months ago? Or how about waving to your husband, only to discover that he is not your husband, but a soldier with the same build hanging out where you agreed to meet your husband after work?

At a time when people post their most embarrassing moments on Facebook, record them for YouTube, and stage them for bad reality TV, I’m thinking being “famous” for falling out of my husband’s Jeep might not be too bad after all.

See you at the commissary!

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About Ande Flagg

Ande is a wife of almost 16 years to her soldier, Tim. They are a later-in-life Army family, after several years in the civilian world post-college. Prior to children and Army life, Ande was a college administrator. Now she is a homeschool mom to Hunter and Jon, both of whom keep her busy in their own way. Additional ways she occupies her time include unit duties, chapel Bible groups, cooking and baking, and performing HH6 duties.

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