How to Soften the Blow

Day one of your spouse being away from home, no matter the amount of time they will be away, no matter the distance they will travel, is just sucky. After five years, several deployments, and many trainings that require saying, “See ya later!” to my partner, I’ve developed a bit of a habitual day-after-goodbye routine. I came up with a few ideas to soften the blow of having an empty house.

Here are my five (somewhat ridiculous) tips:

1. Snuggle with your pets.

I’m convinced that my two giant dog babies go through a minor state of depression when my husband leaves for any amount of time. I’m not gonna lie, I may or may not buy them several new toys when he takes a trip. Not even ashamed. Anyway, I take puppy cuddle time very seriously… and so do my babies. If dogs aren’t your thing, feline snuggles work, too. And if you have children, those are obviously favorable and can be combined with the pet snuggles (you won’t be sorry).

2. Deep clean. Purge. Organize.

Do the things that are so much more difficult with my better half home. Day one normally consists of a general cleaning: put stuff away, dust, run the vacuum, call it a day. By day two, my compulsive need to busy my hands leads me to scrub base boards, steam mop all of the steam mop-able floors, shampoo carpets, actually put laundry away. (Big gasp. I know.) Day three hits, and I begin to wonder if any of the things I own are absolutely necessary to keep in my household. My poor husband eventually comes home to an impeccably clean, nearly empty house and wonders where all of his stuff has gone. #sorrynotsorry

3. Get together with friends.

About two weeks before my partner heads out, I start to plot and plan some fun social events. I’m notorious for hosting some kind of get-together at my house the weekend after my service member leaves for a little while. Interestingly, I’m an introvert who has better mental health when I force myself to be around people. If you’re like me, get out of the house! Or have people over! Look up what movies are playing at the local theater. Better yet, go see a play, hear some live music, visit a craft fair, go to a festival, gorge yourself at a new restaurant, check out a new brewery, get tickets to a sporting event, explore your options!

4. Try an off-the-wall recipe.

My latest adventure has been pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. (Albeit, this is not a crazy recipe, but still out of my comfort zone. I don’t bake.) A past experiment has been to follow a Whole30 diet (cough, sorry, I meant to say “lifestyle”) plan, because you and I both know that there’s no way to do a successful Whole30 with my husband home. Another undertaking was a homemade veggie lasagna. In the interest of full disclosure, I will not attempt that again. Store-bought, frozen veggie lasagna is all that will be cooked in this household from now on. But the point is that I try new things in the kitchen, and I highly recommend it!

5. Hit the gym hard.

Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m just arguing that staying active and working on your health can sometimes be easier when you have the kind of free time that comes from your partner being away, so take advantage! Take a yoga class, try Zumba, drop in on a Crossfit gym, or go for a run. The options are endless.

 

So, there you have it—my five tips to help soften the blow when your service member will be away from home for a little while. What kind of routines do you typically do when your partner leaves home for a season? I want to hear about them!

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Retired Blogger

Retired Blogger

Army Wife Network is blessed with many military spouses who share their journey through writing in our Experience blog category. As we PCS in our military journey, bloggers too sometimes move on. Their content and contributions are still valued and resourceful. Those posts are reassigned under "Retired Bloggers" in order to allow them to remain available as content for our AWN fans.

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