My Soldier Doesn’t Worry About That

Ever notice that there are a lot of things that we as women do that our husbands would never do? I was thinking about how funny it would be if my husband actually had to pick out an outfit for a formal military affair. It got me to thinking about why we women do certain rituals that sometimes bring us a bit of teasing from our soldiers.

1) Take two to four hours to ready ourselves for a ball. Hair, make-up, and nails are things I did for prom and my wedding. Little did I know I would be begging friends to come over to my house in the early afternoon on dining-out day in order to make me look like a queen instead of the maid. My soldier takes 15 minutes to shower and put on his uniform and an extra three to five minutes if he needs to de-lint from dog hair.

2) Dye hair. Blonde is my natural shade, but when I left the DEERS office and looked at the hair color the lady put on my ID, it said brown. What a shock to my ego! (I wanted to dye my hair right then. It took me seven years to get up the nerve.) My man could care less. He is currently pepper with a sprinkling of salt, but as the silver becomes more prevalent, he doesn’t care at all. I, on the other hand, will be visiting my gal in the new year.

3) Multiple pillows on the bed. I like pillows. I have a body pillow and a regular pillow, but would love to have another couple because I like the squishy support they provide. My husband has one pillow. He thinks pillows are optional. He has vetoed me having more pillows (even for decoration).

4) Muffin top. We may analyze, surmise, and measure it only to complain and do as many crunches and run as many miles as we can to make it go away. Men don’t care as long as there are no health worries. They don’t care about their own and they don’t care about ours. Why do we?

5) The cleanliness of the house (at least in my house). One week without touching the vacuum or wiping a toilet and I’m cringing that there is dirt in my house. The three man-boys I live with have one response: “Yay! We aren’t cleaning today and we can play and make it dirtier!” We will be on a cleaning schedule this week for sure. My house is giving me the creeps.

6) China, crystal, antiques, and other rarely used expensive items that we still have to move. We acquired most of these prior to knowing that the Army would be our reality. Now we have a lot of fragile items that have sentimental meaning. While I won’t give them up, getting them in the first place was all my idea. He would have been good with paper plates, Solo cups, and Goodwill furniture.

You get the idea. Maybe you and your soldier agree on these, but not on other points in your marriage. I’m sure there are other items I could add to this list if given more time. Not all my issues are “silly.” I’ll chalk these differences up to being the “fairer” gender, enjoying some pampering, and wanting to look nice for my man.

The house cleaning and the impractical items to move? I’ll just chalk those up to the fact that I am turning into my mother.

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About Ande Flagg

Ande is a wife of almost 16 years to her soldier, Tim. They are a later-in-life Army family, after several years in the civilian world post-college. Prior to children and Army life, Ande was a college administrator. Now she is a homeschool mom to Hunter and Jon, both of whom keep her busy in their own way. Additional ways she occupies her time include unit duties, chapel Bible groups, cooking and baking, and performing HH6 duties.

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