5 Tips to Prepare Your Child for a PCS

The orders come telling you it’s time to PCS…again. Your heart fills with anxiety and anticipation, all at once. So much to do to get ready! So much to pack! How in the world did we accumulate so much stuff? Your mind is spinning with a to-do list that keeps growing with each new thought and idea.

How will I get it all done?

But wait! There is one very important item to add to your agenda—your child.

I’m not talking about gathering all his medical documents and school records or packing her belongings for the trip to your new home. Rather, I’m talking about preparing your child emotionally for the move. Your child is going through the same roller coaster of emotions that you are, just from a different perspective.

Place preparing your child emotionally, as well as physically, at the top of your priority list.

Remember, as you read through these suggestions, to take into account your child’s age and maturity level. Also, keep in mind that each child is different, and each child even reacts and responds differently with each PCS.

Here are five ideas for getting your child emotionally ready for your move:

1.  Give your child as much information as possible.

Share about the orders as soon as possible after they arrive and plans are being set into motion. You may also want to remind your child that, hey, this is the military, things can and often do change—it’s a great opportunity to teach about flexibility.

It’s important for your child to be involved and feel some control over things in his or her life. Include your child in jotting down a to-do list; make one for him as well. Decide as a family, as much as possible: Should we live on or off post? Which house should we buy/rent? What should we pack to take with us, and what should we let the packers pack? Every little way you can include your child gives your child a sense of security, belonging, and ownership in the move.

2.  Validate your child’s feelings, and work to keep family ties strong.

Just like you, your child will have a wide range of emotions: excitement, fear, worry, anxiety, anticipation, sadness, even anger—all of them probably changing on a dime, none of which are wrong, and all are normal. Let your child know that it’s oykay for them to feel this way, that you understand what they are going through. Even share with your child that you, too, are experiencing similar emotions.

It may be a bit of a rocky time as your family prepares for a PCS because everyone’s emotions are running high. Take frequent family “time-outs” and do something fun together to get your minds off the PCS stress and stay connected as a family. Keeping family ties strong is vital to encouraging a smoother PCS move.

3.  Nurture excitement in your child by researching your new community. 

Encourage enthusiasm about the move by researching all the fun things there are to do and see in your new community. Check out the history of the installation and surrounding area. Many military installations are rich in history. Additionally, the majority of military installations have programs hosting family events and activities. Together with your child, learn about their new school, daycare, neighborhood, church. Study the culture of the area, especially if you’re going OCONUS. Make your PCS an exciting adventure for your child!

4.  Help your child say goodbye. 

Many of our service members’ units hold Hail and Farewell events for incoming and outgoing personnel. Spouses’ clubs and coffee groups welcome new members and say goodbye as they leave. Adults, particularly in the military community, are pretty good at this sort of thing, but have you ever noticed how unceremoniously our children leave their schools (where they spend eight hours a day), church groups, sports activities, or neighborhoods?

  • Find ways to help your child say goodbye
  • Get special friends’ addresses so they can become pen-pals
  • Take goodies to daycare or school on your child’s last day, being sure to call in advance to arrange it and get permission
  • Let your child invite friends over for a sleepover
  • Host a goodbye party for your child. Doesn’t need to be a grand, expensive occasion, just a time to say goodbye and bring some closure. Your child needs it and your child’s friends need it, too.

5.  Make the trip to your new home a fun adventure! 

Involve your child in mapping out your family’s trip to the next duty station. Plan some fun along the way! Buy a map and let your child mark out the route, and let them follow along as you drive or fly. Saying goodbye will be a lot easier when your child is looking forward to a new adventure!

 How do you help your child prepare for a PCS? Please share!


For more posts like this, check our Parenting is More Than Macaroni, 12 PCS Tips to Make a Splash This Summer, and Planning Your PCS Road Trip.

 

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Crystal Niehoff

Crystal Niehoff

Crystal Niehoff is an Army chaplain’s wife, mother of five, and grandmother to five. In 2000, Crystal and her family began their homeschooling journey, which Crystal now continues with her oldest granddaughter, Lexi. Previously a child welfare worker and former owner and CEO of Army Wife Network, Crystal holds certifications as a birth and bereavement doula and chaplain, along with degrees in child development and business administration. She is host of the new Military Homeschool Podcast on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network, created specifically for military homeschoolers. Join Crystal and her guests each week as they bring relevant information to equip you, stories to encourage you, and content to inspire you. An avid researcher, history buff, writer, teacher, and self-proclaimed coffee connoisseur, Crystal and her family are currently stationed at Rock Island Arsenal, Illinois.

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