Recon Rendezvous: Milspouse Advice

Welcome to AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous We’re so glad you are here. As the name implies, Recon Rendezvous is a place of community and connection. It’s an opportunity to explore and learn about our fellow military supporters’ lives, victories, trials, and experiences.

Each month, we “rendezvous” here to provide information, resources, and encouragement. Thanks for contributing to our empowerment of military spouses across the globe!


I’m not gonna lie—sometimes in this military spouse journey, I feel like I’m making it up as I go. And sometimes, I am.

But other times, especially in moments of uncertainty or decision-making, we can turn to other spouses who’ve been there, done that. Military spouse advice can be a rich source of information.

We wanted to compile some of the best pieces of advice we’ve heard from our Army Wife Network followers to share with you. Grab an inky pen and your favorite notepad and get ready to take some notes!

“I bought the book Married to the Military and it gave me tons of tips. We even learned about extra money and things that my husband didn’t even know about!” — Kelly A. Z.

“Don’t get angry at your spouse for their job. They don’t have control over the military.” — Carrie L.

“Take enough time to figure out if this life is for you before you bring children into it. Get a couple moves and separations under your belt before you have babies. This life isn’t for everyone. Also, if you have a spouse that allows you to have some say over their PCS request, be grateful. If they’re willing to sacrifice their favored job for your favored location, be grateful. They don’t have to. My husband and I make PCS decisions together, with me having the final say on what he requests. I know that many spouses don’t have this much input.” — Sharon T.

“Get ready to hurry up and wait. Also, I wish someone would have told me to jump in and check out the resources and military functions. It felt like home when I finally felt comfortable to do those things. So educate yourself!” — Tiffany S.

Only you can control your emotions. When the service member leaves, I choose how I’ll handle the situation. I don’t want to always be sad and lonely. So I do something about it. It’s okay to have sad days, and a support system is extremely important, but at the end of the day, you have more control over your own emotions than you realize.” — Jessie W.

“A duty station is what you make of it. Don’t use other people’s opinions to cloud your own experience. If you can get excited and on board about a new place, your family will follow suit.” — Tiffany S. B.

“Don’t get upset when ‘everyone’ else has a day off but not your service member. It’s just the way it is, and your service member will have days off when others don’t. Just roll with it. Oh, also… be forgiving of yourself. The reality of the situation vs. what you read about or were told are not always the same. It feels different, and it’s okay to find it difficult to adjust.” — Harmonia A.

“I was a new military spouse in 1980. I was told ‘get used to it.’ Because I heard that way back then, I have now told every new military spouse I’ve met, ‘It will be okay. We have each other. No one is alone here.'” — Alisa J.M.M.

Talk to and get familiar with others in the unit, down the street, etc. It’s the military, you will end up seeing each other again, and it really helps knowing someone you know is nearby. They may know who to talk to, where to go, and what to do when something happens. A melting pot of friends may open you up as a person when you reach out!” — Cristy B.

“You can’t worry about what may happen. Things will change a million times until the final order. I won’t say ‘be flexible’ because there will be a breaking point. I say be fluid! You can go all around and not bend until you snap.” — Jackie S.

“Flexibility is a big one and so is finding outlets and resources. I’ve also found it to be useful to ask my service member what I can do to help. Yes, it will add to your to do list that seems to be never ending, but it will sometimes free up their time to help you.” — Angel C.

“Make each place a home, even if you will only be there for 18 months… Hang pictures, unpack everything, hang curtains, etc. It makes a difference!” — Velia D.H.

“Know and be familiar with OPSEC! Social media isn’t the best place for personal info to be displayed.” — Michele H.

“Practice your faith as a family and make finding a church that’s a good fit for your family a priority. Support systems are important.” — Beverly D.G.

“Don’t take on your service member’s rank. It’s theirs, not yours.” — Adriana G.

“Have your own life but still include your spouse. Have a sense of purpose.” — Stephanie J.W.

“Lately I’ve been following the no-plan plan!” — Erica G.

Take everything with a grain of salt, and always be optimistic!” — Tessa R.

“Don’t go out and buy expensive things, cars, clothes etc. Keep minimal debt.” — Stormy W.M.

“Remember: this too shall pass. Change your socks. Drink water. Drive on.” — Barbara B.

“Go with the flow. Life is full of challenges and adventures. Take it all as joy.” — Audrey G.C.

“Being involved with the FRG or spouses’ groups helped me to better understand my service member’s job and our life.” — Nicole M.

“Whenever you move to a new installation, and right before you leave, take a family photo with an installation sign. It is interesting to see how much a family changes in just a couple of years.” — Shelley B.L.

“Guard your heart and choose friends wisely.” — Heather S.

“Do not get caught up in the drama!” — Jennifer K.

“Stock up on wine.” — Tyme M.

“Be ready for anything. Anytime!” — Phalisha H.

“Tip the commissary baggers.” — Deanna M.

“Enjoy the adventure!” — Megan M.H.

“Don’t watch the news.” — Kim M.

“Take one day at a time.” ~— onya M.S.

Embrace the suck.” — Wendy M.T.

“Try to have a savings account especially for PCS season. 5K usually makes life so much less stressful during moves.” — Patricia A.

“Nothing is set in stone until paperwork is signed, except for maybe payday on the 1st and the 15th.” — KaSandra H.

“Roll with punches and make sure you still find ways to grow and succeed as a person. This ride won’t be forever.” — Stacey O.M.

“Don’t get stressed at your partner. Most of the time they have no control over their work commitments. You will come second to work most of the time.” — Diane W.

“Reach out. Make friends. And do it fast.” — Jennifer E.K.W.

“Adapt and overcome.” — Emily E.

So dear readers, which piece of advice stood out to you? What would you add to our list? We always welcome your feedback, so feel free to leave a comment below. See you right back here next month for our next Recon Rendezvous community get-together!

Recon Rendezvous and milspouse advice
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Sharita Knobloch

Sharita Knobloch

Sharita Knobloch has been married to her beloved infantryman husband Brandon for just shy of a decade. The joys and challenges of #ArmyWifeLife ignited her faith on a deep level, so she answered the call to ministry in July 2011. Soon after, Sharita received her Master’s Degree in Christian Leadership from Liberty University. She is currently in pursuit of her EdD in Educational Counseling with an emphasis in Pastoral Counseling, also from Liberty University. Sharita is not only an Army Wife, but is also a Tiny Human mama of two kiddos, a 6-year-old girl and a 2.5-year old boy. She is also a smallish-dog-owner, aspiring-runner, writer, speaker, and spiritual leadership coach. The Knobloch family believes that it is a great privilege to watch God work as they minister in their Army community, regardless of zip code or time zone. She has been serving with AWN in some capacity since February 2014 when she published her first blog for AWN, and has recently transitioned into the role of AWN Owner & Commander. Sharita gets way too excited about office supplies and journal shopping. She is a certified auctioneer, wore duct tape to senior prom (for a scholarship contest #DontJudge), loves napping, fitness, reading for fun, and cheering others on as they strive to reach their goals. Sharita overuses #Hashtags on a regular basis with #NoShame and frequently uses #America! as a verb.

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