Self Care in the Form of a Sabbatical

People might think I’m a little odd. Not, like, Steve Urkel odd (child of the ’80s here; however, I don’t look good in suspenders), but I like to think more “unique.” I do things that make good stories. Because, why not?

I’m not just “different” because I went to (and subsequently graduated from) Missouri Auction School during Spring Break my senior year of college. It isn’t that I wore duct tape to senior prom in high school (it was for a scholarship contest… don’t judge. And yes, we rocked it). My uniqueness doesn’t come from my love of inky pens and journals or my affinity for analogies.

I say it’s because I take a rather “creative” approach to dealing with stress and difficulties. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t—I repeat, do not—have military spouse life all figured out. I still jack it up on a regular basis. But, one thing I’ve learned as a milspouse and a parent is that self care is incredibly important.

And when working with my infantryman husband’s “schedule,” that requires a high level of creativity.

I try to take small moments throughout the day (and week) to recharge my batteries. But sometimes, even the most motivated people need to take a little time out from life. Hence, my self care strategy that comes in the form of a sabbatical.

This tradition started six years ago, right after we miscarried our first baby. I was broken-hearted and completely worn out. I needed some time to process and push pause on everything. So, that’s what I did.

I took a weekend completely to myself. I found an economical little cabin nearby and transitioned from doing all the things to just being for one precious weekend. No Facebook, no internet connecting, no TV. I slept. Ate. Slept some more. Read. Journaled. Walked. Lounged. Prayed. Reflected.

I came home refreshed and balanced, ready to let my heart heal and move forward.

A little more than a year later, we welcomed our daughter into the world, and parenting gives a whole different definition to the word “tired” and “stressed.” Soon, I realized I needed to take another breath. So, once again, it was sabbatical time.

Ever since, our family has made it a priority for me to take a sabbatical twice a year. Those weekends help me be a stronger spouse, parent, and person in general.

Is it difficult to work the schedule with child care, especially now that we have two children? Oh, yes, absolutely, but I’m grateful to have a supportive husband who covers down with the kids when he can. I even took a sabbatical when my wonderful mother-in-law came to visit last August.

I know, I know… it might sound impossible, but it isn’t—it just takes some creativity. Each person undoubtedly has their own preference on what a sabbatical might look like. We try to stick to some semblance of a budget, and even though I’m an extrovert down to the core, my goal is to not talk to another human being for the duration of my time of personal R&R. I also love finding quaint places to stay, like a little cabin or guest house. (Tip: Always ask for a military discount—you never know what kind of deals you might find, especially if it’s privately owned.)

I pack all my own food, bring a minimum of three books, and shut off all my alarms. I sleep when I want to sleep. I wake up when my body says “wake up.” I eat food with two hands and go to the bathroom by myself. I can go for a run without my darling preschooler telling me she’s “so tired” and that her “bones are sweaty.” I have no schedule, no tasks, nothing that would distract me from being physically, emotionally, and spiritually recharged.

So dear readers, if you are feeling worn out, run down, frustrated, or weary, that’s okay! Get creative and find some fresh ways to take care of yourself, even if it means pushing pause for an afternoon, a day, or an entire weekend.

Other people are depending on you and your calling is very important, but you have to take care of yourself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.