Do I Stay, or Do I Go?

My husband has been in the Army nearly 10 years. Sometimes I can’t believe he’s already this far into his career or that so much time has passed so quickly. Throughout the years, we’ve lived in various places across America: Hawaii, Virginia, Washington. Aside from Hawaii, he has managed to avoid an OCONUS assignment—until now. Do I stay, or do I go?

At the beginning of this year, he reenlisted for another six years. For those of you who don’t know, by the time your service member reaches a certain point in his or her career, they become considered “needs of the military.” What this means is they can be sent wherever the military needs someone of their rank and MOS. This happens around the 10-year mark, and that’s because you become indefinite in your contract. By this time, you are usually given the choice of number of years you reenlist for, and some people choose more because they plan to be career service members.

That is the plan my husband has decided upon.

All of these circumstances play into the options he was given for his next duty assignment: Alaska, Germany, or South Korea. Personally, I have found this all very overwhelming and less than ideal. My hope was that we would have the chance to go back to the east coast and live near Washington, D.C. because it is probably my favorite place to be so far.

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Given the choices, we chose South Korea. I hate the cold, and for reasons unexplained, neither of us were exactly loving the idea of going to Germany. However, despite the choice, I’ve been struggling to figure out what we will do.

Will I stay in Washington? Will I go to South Korea?

There are so many things to consider in this situation.

The moment I found out Korea was a choice, I think my mind started to go about a million miles a minute. I have so many questions about living abroad.

How will I overcome the cultural differences?

How will I cope with being so far away from the United States and my comfort zone?

How will I cope with living abroad when I haven’t traveled any further than Canada?

Will I come back to the U.S. to visit my family, or stay in Korea the whole time?

How will I navigate a place that I know so little about? (Of course that question comes up with every PCS, but this is definitely a challenge when you can’t read another language.)

I’m sure many people have felt the same way I do about getting an overseas assignment. I have been told by basically everyone I’ve asked that they loved Korea. I get the sense that, once I get past the initial shock and am able to figure out more of the logistical issues, I will be able to move past being overwhelmed and move toward enjoying the chance to live in a new place.

Should I stay or should I go?
Should I stay or should I go?

However, there’s always the possibility that my husband and I will decide to have him go for a year alone, and I will stay behind. If this happens, you can go visit your spouse via Space A flights for 30 days or up to 90 days (with a tourist visa) through commercial travel. These are my other choices along with the choice to go.

If I do go, we also must figure out how far ahead of time to ship our HHGs and our POV.

No matter the decision we make, I hope that we are able to make it soon. We are still waiting on orders and a report date, and who knows?, maybe South Korea will become my new favorite place. However, the future unfolds, I’m ready and willing to learn all I can and do my best to make the best out of the situation I may find myself in.

Wish me luck!

Have you ever had an overseas duty assignment? How did you cope with cultural changes? Sound off in the comments below!

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Mary Spangler

Mary Spangler

Mary was born and raised in South Bend, Indiana. She currently lives in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband, SFC Spangler, their two sons, and one cat. Previous duty stations include Scott Air Force Base, Illinois, Joint Base Lewis McChord, Washington, Rivanna Station, Virginia, and Fort Shafter, Hawaii. She earned a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Indiana University in 2009. During her college years she also spent some time volunteering for the Student Veteran’s Association, and participated briefly in the Army ROTC program. She loves writing, music, gardening, watching documentaries and movies, cooking, hosting get-togethers, spending time with family and friends, and traveling.

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