Smashing Military Spouse Stereotypes
I’d like to tackle a traditional military spouse stereotype of…(gasp)…the officer’s spouse.
Many of us have seen these women at functions, probably wearing makeup and Spanx, walking around and talking to everyone, maybe even smiling at everyone through her teeth.
Who does she think she is?
I will never forget my first introduction to the officer’s spouse stereotype. My husband was graduating from Army basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Another spouse and I were making small talk with the lady waiting in line with us at the commissary. During the first few minutes of our conversation, she let us in on a secret…
Officer’s wives had to apply makeup in the hospital immediately after they delivered their babies!
We were mortified. The horror and outrage that these poor women had to fix themselves up because they were officer’s spouses blew our very naive and impressionable minds. I’ve been a military spouse for almost 14 years and that horrific secret has yet to be proven, thank goodness!
My husband entered the military when he was 28 years old; I was the same age. I attribute the lack of getting wrapped up in the whole officer’s spouse vs. enlisted spouse misconception to two of my favorite life philosophies: “Never judge a book by its cover,” and “Save the drama for your mama.”
I feel that military spouses have evolved both spiritually and emotionally; we’ve matured out of the Old Army during the past 20 plus years, thus squashing some of the ridiculousness that accompanies throwing any group of women into the same bucket.
Spouses are the backbones of the military family. We’re charged with taking on the daunting tasks of nurturing our children, communities, and our fellow spouses while our service members are away. It’s the diversity of our military families that unites us and makes us stronger, together.
I have personally been disrespected by officer’s spouses and by enlisted spouses. No military spouse has the right to wear their service member’s rank—no one. I maintain strong friendships with both officer and enlisted spouses.
The key is that everyone has their own stories; we’re all unique and bring our individuality to each and every relationship we cultivate—or not.
I’m a relationship-type of girl. If I feel a connection to a like-minded, positive energy-toting, fun and pure-spirited person, I befriend them. No matter their background, age, culture, politics, or education—friendships grown out of dual respectfulness always prevail!
Instead of perpetuating this whole divide among military spouses, I charge you to look beyond your own misgivings and eradicate these negative, false, and unfair pre-judgments. Open your mind, and I guarantee you’ll be surprised how much more we have in common as military spouses than what we do not.
