Speed Dating, Mommy-style
You know about speed dating, but have you heard of mom dating? It’s a thing, y’all.
It’s what you do to check out little Timmy’s friend’s mom. Are you compatible?
Or…
Will you stab your eyes out if you spend more than 15 minutes at the playground with her?
I believe that military spouses acquire an extra gene that makes them capable of mom speed dating.
Do you remember there was a trend about 10 years ago called speed dating? Yeah, that, just mommy-style.
Military spouses have to do most things efficiently. We don’t have three months to find time to finally talk to the other mom who’s always at the park at the same time that we are. In three months, someone is going to have orders or be off to her sister’s place because her service member is gone for six months.
Nope, three days. That’s how long it should take to start finding your new BFF. Move in, unpack the toys and TV, unpack the kitchen, and out the door! Go to where the spouses are!
I like our neighborhood park, but this time of year, the pool or lake might be a good idea. I don’t care to get to know new people or introduce myself to anyone when I’m wearing a bathing suit, though. So, park it is. Free and fully clothed!
Do you remember the not-really-very-accurate show Army Wives? I didn’t start watching until it was on Netflix. I never watched the whole series, but the beginning was a mommy speed dating event like I’ve never seen. The four main characters become instant besties when one of them goes into labor on a pool table at a bar. I was new to military spouse life at the time and I thought, “I’ll never make friends! I like to stay clothed!”
In retrospect, relying on meeting at the park is a bit more palatable for me. I just can’t imagine coming home and saying:
“Honey, I just met the best girls!”
“Where did you meet?”
“Oh, I helped another spouse deliver twins on a pool table.”
Umm… no!
We’re a sisterhood, a tribe, a coffee group of over-caffeinated military spouses… but I ain’t no one’s midwife! (I’m thankful that there are women called to be midwives; I’m not one.)
It was an extreme example, however, of mommy speed dating. And now that we’re in high PCS season, we all need to remember how to best do this yearly ritual, whether you’re spying on the movers or spying on the empty house down the street.
Remember, we all daydream about meeting our new BFF right next door. Maybe she’ll be from your hometown. Maybe you’ll already know her from another installation. Maybe she’ll want to swap babysitting children! It’s like a dream sequence from a romance movie. You know, the cloudy screen where the two subjects run toward each other when they realize they’re a perfect match?
So, how do we know if this new relationship is a go? If she is your new BFF?
Here are a few questions that you may wish to ask yourself:
• Does she seem to care that I don’t shower before going to the bus stop…for afternoon pick-up?
• Does she have children near my children’s ages…between the ages of 0 and 18 years?
• If homeschooling, can she participate in designated times for playdates…sometime between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Monday through Friday?
• Does she like to travel…to the convenience store, for coffee, at all hours of the day and night?
Anything goes!
If you’re watching that newly occupied house down the street like a hawk and you want a friend, take her homemade cookies, toilet paper, and paper towels. (Who hasn’t lost track of where they packed the TP?) You might get an invite into the house!
Then you can volunteer to help unpack boxes or watch her kids.
Then she might invite you back for coffee and the kids to jump on their trampoline.
BOOM! Mommy speed dating success.
