I’m Thankful for Deployments
My husband and I enjoyed almost four comfortable years of dwell time immediately following our marriage. Because he changed his MOS and had to do quite a bit of subsequent training, we PCS’d a lot, but we were always together. However, like most military relationships, our honeymoon eventually ended, and the dreaded “D word” popped up in our lives: a deployment was pending.
Looking back, I remember those pre-deployment days as being full of fear and dread. We’d never been apart for so long, and the prospect of trying to solo parent our baby while also keeping up with the house, the pets, my schoolwork, and my internship seemed incredibly daunting. My anxiety was running much higher than normal, and it was so hard to focus on enjoying our last few weeks together because I was so nervous about what was to come.
But now, I’m looking at this deployment through a different lens, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, my current lens is gratitude. It’s been a tough journey, but I realize I also have a lot to be thankful for, including things that I would not have if not for this deployment.
Here are five reasons I’m grateful for this deployment:
1. It’s forced me to get out of my comfort zone.
I’m a natural introvert and a homebody, but in an empty house, I’ve been forced to broaden my horizons. I’ve joined different groups on and off post, spent more time going out with co-workers and friends, and sometimes just get out to explore.
2. It has reminded me how to be independent.
I think it’s easy to be reliant on your spouse when they’re around all the time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’d forgotten just how powerful I am on my own as well. Of course, I’d much rather have my husband here to help, but it’s empowering to remember how strong I really am.
3. It’s helped me rediscover the things I enjoy.
I’ve got the time again to invest in the things that I love to do, rather than doing the things that both my husband and I enjoy. I’m setting aside time to read non-school books again, I go out shopping for fun (Target is my BFF), and I’m being intentional about getting out on the weekends to seek entertainment. It’s not that my husband prevented me from doing any of these things, but like I said, we would typically do things we both enjoyed rather than individual activities. I’d stopped making time for them in our schedule.
4. It has shown me how incredibly blessed I am to have amazing friends and family.
They have been so wonderful stepping up to help Moonpie and me, and I could not be more thankful. Our friends and family have done everything from helping me get the lawn mowed to ensuring that Moonpie had an incredible first birthday celebration (even without Daddy!). From the bottom of my heart, many thanks to all of you! You’ve made one of the loneliest periods of my life one of the richest and most full.
And, perhaps most importantly…
5. It’s made me learn to forgive myself.
I tend to hold myself to very high standards, and I start to imagine that other people have the same extreme expectations as well. Without realizing it, I set myself up for an exhausting and difficult job. But since my husband left, I’ve had to recognize that I’m just one person trying to manage a whole lot of things. If I don’t get it all done or can’t do it all perfectly, I’ve learned I can’t sweat it. I do what I can and pick the rest up tomorrow. And if it doesn’t happen tomorrow either, it’s really not worth stressing over. No one has died, no one has starved, and nothing has broken so badly it can’t be repaired. I’m chalking that up as a win.
So, pre-deployment me, please don’t stress. You’ll be amazed how well you can rise to the challenge. You’ll miss your service member, you’ll miss your routine, and you’ll miss your “normal” life, but you’ll also enjoy every day even if your spouse isn’t there to enjoy it with you. You’ll have fun, you’ll push your limits, and you’ll manage.
Plus, it will end eventually and all will be okay!
What has the experience of a deployment taught you? What has it made you thankful for?
