The Backward PCS: Part 1

We all know that rocking this military spouse life is rewarding. It is an adventure. But you know what? Sometimes that adventure can daggum stress us out. I personally believe that a PCS can be one of the most stressful events of our military lives.

So much coordination, so few answers.

When are we leaving?

When will the packers arrive?

Can we drive both vehicles?

How much is in savings?

When do you report?

When do the kids get out of school?

When does school start?

What is our weight limit again?

Do we really like or furniture or can we just ditch it and start over?

Where is the nearest chocolate stash?

Really, how we handle a PCS is all up to us. Sure, some events might make our right eye twitch and jeans get a bit tighter due to all the emotional eating in between non-answer adventures. But we do have a choice how we handle the everyday PCS challenges.

We can either totally stress out, tear up our fancy new notebook making obsessive-compulsive lists (totally hypothetical, of course—I would never do that), or we can manage the things that are in our control and let the rest of the stuff go.

The best way that I let things go is to laugh.

I asked my military Facebook friends to join the conversation and share their best “reverse” tip for a PCS. All of the following are based on true (humorous) events.

Welcome to part one of a two-part blog all about “The Backward PCS,” also known as how not to move with the military.

Disclaimer: If you want a successful PCS, we highly recommend you do the opposite of the following “tips.” If you choose to adhere to these tips, we take no responsibility for the results. Although if you write us a really sappy email, I might ship you some chocolate.

Forget about that PCS to-do list for the next 3 minutes and enjoy these backwards PCS tips:

1. Mix your high value items in with the rest of your stuff.

Give the packers the opportunity to use their best judgment. This is a huge time-saver. Most packers are experts in late-1800’s Chinaware, so they will pack it like it is their own.

2. Procrastinate and/or remain in denial as long as possible.

This strategy works great for your own PCS or that of your friends. If your bestie is getting ready to roll out, ignore it. Keep planning life as if they aren’t going anywhere, even when they sit you down to gently remind you of their departure date. (Feel free to pout at that point. They love that.)

3. Spend weeks preparing, because it will totally make a difference.

Be really, really motivated and start cleaning, sorting, and packing long before orders are cut. PCS details rarely change, so your excessive proactive planning will be the envy of your entire neighborhood during the Summer Exodus PCS season. Sort all of your stuff meticulously with the knowledge that it will arrive in the exact order you packed it six months ago.

4. Look at moving day as a day off!

It’s such a super easy and relaxing time, just sit back and let it take care of itself. Every television, game system, DVD player, and literally anything on you high value list will always arrive at the next spot and won’t be stolen in between, because that never happens. Actually, feel free to leave and come back when all the work is done.

5. Remember that junk drawers can double as a weapon.

If you will be driving through a sketchy area of the country, request that your packers give you the brown paper bag they dumped your junk drawer into. Carry it with you in your car in the event you need to use the sharp edges for self-defense. Safety first, friends. Safety first.

6. Be sure your washing machine has been used recently.

Heck, go ahead and do a load while the movers are there! You want your washer nice and wet with hoses dripping while they are shoved into a tight, humid space with all of your precious belongings. By the time it arrives at the next duty station, it’ll be filled with fresh mold and funk that will color your crisp whites and undoubtedly mark you as a fashion trendsetter.

 

So friends: What “backward tips” would you add to the list? Jump in and leave a comment below. Who knows, your “tip” might end up here next month when we run the second half (and funnier!) set, including our number one “most effective” suggestion.

Now if you will excuse me… The movers are supposed to arrive in two minutes, and I want to be ready—because they are always on time.

What would you add to this hilarious “backward PCS” list? You can check out Part 2 here.