The 3 C’s of FRGs

You’ve probably heard one of the following about the FRGs:

“They’re full of bickering, back-stabbing women who will use their husband’s rank against you.”

“It’ll be a waste of your time and energy.”

“Don’t join or you’ll be sucked into doing a bunch of stuff you don’t want to do.”

Those are the initial responses I received from my inquiry about Family Readiness Groups. From the little information I acquired about FRGs, I knew they were a way for spouses and family members of active-duty soldiers to get together and network. I had a small foundation of knowledge about what an FRG consisted of, and the curiosity to learn more and experience one myself enveloped me.

For those like me who have curiosity, a calling to be a part of something bigger, and the courage to tackle some misconceptions, I’ve created a list of helpful tips.

Here are my three C’s of FRGs:

1. Curiosity

When settling in at a duty station, after the boxes are unpacked, if you feel the desire to find a tribe you can attach yourself to the easiest way is to begin asking around for the FRG leader. This may seem like a daunting task. How do you find this person when you just arrived? Your service member’s commanding officer will have direct contact with the FRG. Don’t hesitate to make your request for more information known. I had my service member talk to his fellow platoon sergeants. That is how I found my connection.

Building upon the foundation of knowledge, Army OneSource has free online classes through their Learning Management System that will assist new milspouses with the ins and outs of the Army: customs and courtesies, military acronyms, chain of command, and FRG. Look for Army Family Team Building training. Each level can last anywhere from 15-30 minutes each and you even get a spiffy certificate of completion.

Curiosity, one of the 3 C's of FRGs, led me to earning a certificate for FRG training.
Ta-Dah! My certificate of completion from a webinar found on Myarmylife.com.

2. Calling

The Army is our life. Let’s face it people. The Army is our paycheck, the roof over our heads, the beds we sleep in at night, the entity we curse and bless all in one. We tend to have a love-hate relationship with the Army, but nothing yields more pride. (Can I get a hooah?!)

I had a calling to be a part of something bigger and leave my mark on this place that holds me for two years. The FRG leadership team has several positions that may need to be filled: Treasurer, key callers, FRG leader, and editor for the newsletter.

What if you don’t want to be on the FRG leadership team? There are plenty of volunteer opportunities available within the FRG. Depending on where your unit or group is in the deployment cycle, you may volunteer your time for homecoming events, redeployment trainings, and other things. Don’t be afraid to ask.

Calling, one of the 3 C's of FRGs, led me to volunteer within my FRG.
My FRG binder which keeps me organized.

3. Courage

John Wayne said it best: “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” There is nothing more fearful to some than meeting a fresh group of people, let alone functioning well at a fundraiser or event with them. Facebook can be your best friend in breaking down walls of hesitation.

Humans tend to gravitate toward events where they already know one or two people. Who in your area has dogs? Is there a Facebook page dedicated to your spouse’s unit or group? Who shares interests with you? Search out names and click the “add” button. This will crack open the door to begin introductions so that attending that fundraiser won’t seem so unfavorable.

Then you have to actually attend the fundraisers, family days, and outings. I recently attended an informal FRG meeting held at a wine bar. I had met several of the people before, but this environment allowed us to let down our guards and become friends. This networking holds a value most of us don’t realize.

 

 

I’m now a true advocate for FRGs. I’m grateful for the advice I decided not to take. Instead, I followed the three C’s and gained additional support and friendship.

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Retired Blogger

Retired Blogger

Army Wife Network is blessed with many military spouses who share their journey through writing in our Experience blog category. As we PCS in our military journey, bloggers too sometimes move on. Their content and contributions are still valued and resourceful. Those posts are reassigned under "Retired Bloggers" in order to allow them to remain available as content for our AWN fans.

2 thoughts on “The 3 C’s of FRGs

  • March 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm
    Permalink

    Referenced website myarmylife.com goes to cash advance, debt consolidation, etc.
    please edit with correct website to be shared with fellow deployed spouses. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Lisa Walters
      March 16, 2017 at 12:42 am
      Permalink

      Beth, thank you for letting us know! We’ve changed the link. Unfortunately, the correct site is experiencing issues at the moment, so we’ve also included an alternative to look into. We appreciate your feedback!

      Reply

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