Time-Out Time
Things have changed a bit since I was a little girl.
I listened to cassette tapes in a Walkman. My Little Ponies were my favorite toy. I rocked the side ponytail, birdnest bangs, and Scrunchies like nobody’s business.
Yes, I was a child of the ’80s.
Sometimes I miss the simpler days of my youth, when there were no bills to pay, no deployments to worry about, no last-minute changes to PCS plans.
But one thing I don’t miss about growing up? Getting in trouble.
Maybe I should rephrase that: I didn’t mind stirring up mischief—but I really didn’t like getting caught.
When I was growing up, my parents, who I love and adore and did a great job of raising me (trust me, I was not an easy child—something about having red-headed roots with a Missouri Mule heart … no offense to any red-headed readers from Missouri). My parents had to sometimes get creative with my punishments.
Spankings usually didn’t work, because my smart-mouthed self would simply scoff and say “Didn’t hurt!” (Note: never say that to someone when you are being punished. It will not end well).
Taking away things wasn’t overly effective, because I would find new things to entertain myself.
But time-outs? Now that method of discipline worked for me.
See, I am a gal who doesn’t like to miss out on the fun—I want to be where the action is, hanging out with people, laughing and entertaining.
So a “time-out” with my “nose in the corner” for however minutes was practically torture for me.
It’s funny how now, many years later, sometimes I want to put myself in time-out.
Some days just feels like it is time out time for this milspouse/minister/parent.
Like when things start to overwhelm me. We all know that life can get pretty crazy in this milspouse world. Junk goes down that is way beyond our control. Plans change. Stuff breaks.
Life just happens.
And sometimes, when life happens too much too fast, we start to feel like we are drowning. My “to-do” list starts to choke me, my patience gets short with hubby, baby, dog, and/or whoever else crosses my path. I lose my joy.
It is at that point that I know it is time-out time.
Taking a time-out for ourselves is not selfish. Hey, everyone needs a break on occasion, even if it is just escaping upstairs to the bathtub to a read a book for a few minutes. Honestly, I am a better wife, mama, minister, and friend if I have a short personal time-out each week to recharge my batteries.
Perhaps you are sitting there thinking, “Yeah, great theory. But I don’t have time for a time-out!”
I feel ya, sister. But when you reach the point of thinking you can’t “afford” a time-out, that is when you really can’t afford not to take one.
Ever heard the story about “sharpening your saw?” It is the seventh Habit in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits for Highly Effective People.
Consider this: Two woodsmen are out chopping wood. Both have the same amount of work to do with the same amount of time in which to do it. The first guy is hacking away, going at it hard and fast, non-stop. He is tired, thirsty, a bit frustrated since his blade seems to be getting dull, but he keeps going, determined to meet his quota on time.
The second guy is also determined, but once an hour or so, he stops to quickly sharpen the blade of his saw.
Now, which one of the guys do you think is going to finish quicker and end up with more joy when their mission is accomplished?
That same concept applies to our call as military spouses. Sometimes we just need to take a breather. It is okay to put yourself in time out.
Run yourself a hot bath. Go for a long run or walk. Swing by your favorite coffee shop, sip on your favorite beverage, and just sit. Stop by your local bookstore and browse. Take a window shopping trip. Do whatever you need to do to refuel.
Because sisters, if you are feeling wound up and stressed, frustrated or impatient, it might just be time out time.
So do it.
Take a time-out.