Time to Kiss the Mirror!
A few years ago, I led a conference session for military spouses who were about to be reunited with their deployed loved ones. In one of the discussions I asked, “What’s the first thing you thought of when you found out your partner was coming home?”
One woman shot her hand into the air and without hesitation blurted out, “I said, ‘How the heck did my butt get so big?!'”(Her words, not mine.) Immediately raucous laughter filled the room along with many understanding nods from others. Of course, what she said was funny at the time, and it eventually became the title for one of my book chapters.
But when the laughter settled down, we became serious again. This time I posed the question, “Why do we always see what’s wrong with us before anything else?”
No one had a good answer for that.
I want to offer a different perspective.
Turn your thinking around. I’m pretty sure, at one time or another, you admired a beautiful piece of finished wood furniture. Maybe it was a table, chest, or even a lovely jewelry box. You likely said something like, “Look at the amazing grain in that,” or “Wow, there are so many different colors and twists in the wood,” or relished how unique and remarkable the knots across the piece were.
Let’s look at the reality of what you’re seeing. All those knots, colors, and twists—the imperfections—in a piece of wood are where its strength and beauty live. Knots appear on healthy trees where dead branches fall off. “Knots are the imperfections that cause living wood grain to grow around them,” according to The Dos and Do-knots of Wood.
Look at the other things that make wood interesting: splits, dark streaks, stains, worm holes, and decay. All of these are considered defects in wood. Did you know that burl wood is beautiful because of insect infestation?
Artists working with wood search out these flaws, defects, and imperfections because they know their finished piece will be brilliantly beautifully because of them!
If there were no flaws, the wood would be plain and uninteresting.
Why should you care?
Look in the mirror. Look closely. See those extra pounds? That slightly messed up haircut? The nose you’re sure is too big and the feet that are too small? Those flaws, those imperfections you hate about yourself, are what make you the wonderful person you are. They make you beautiful in a way that is unlike anyone else in the whole world.
My 3-year-old granddaughter Addy kisses herself in the mirror, which is what most toddlers do, and maybe we should do that, too.
Appreciate your flaws and imperfections because the whole package you’re seeing in the mirror right now is what your honey wants to hug every day! You know what else? Those perceived “defects” don’t mean a thing to the person who walks through the front door.
