When Contentment Is Hard

Last month I shared this post about saying goodbye to the complaining culture that many of us have become familiar with. I kid you not—it was three days after that post published that I caught myself in an attitude of major discontentment.

I was experiencing some health issues that were absolutely zero fun to deal with, my husband was called into work to handle some unexpected stuff over the weekend (yet again), he spent two half-days home between trainings in the field, and my patience was spent.

I slipped into my old habit of anger and self-pity.

I have to admit—I don’t think those feelings were necessarily unjustified. I had a genuinely hard couple of weeks.

After desperately wanting to word-vomit all of my upsetting feelings to my best friend, I instantly realized I’d fallen into the trap of complaining. I’d spent a significant amount of time being upset over circumstances that were fleeting. Rather than surrounding myself with things that I enjoy doing and people I enjoy being around, I decided to spend my time in negativity.

Please pay careful attention to the way I worded that last sentence…

I decided to spend my time this way.

I decided to choose negativity over contentment.

I could have decided to provide myself with adequate amounts of coffee (because we all know that caffeine addiction is pretty much a military spouse reality).

I could have decided to be supportive of the hard work my husband was doing for our family.

I could have decided to spend time with uplifting people who love me enough to give me the perspective I needed.

I share all of this to encourage you, friends. I know that this lifestyle is hard. I know a lot is asked of you, and you always step up to the plate. Milspouses, you are a gift to your families and friends. When choosing contentment is just difficult, please join me in deciding to push back those negative tendencies. Take some time for yourself; do something you enjoy doing.

And please remind yourself of these truths:

• You are irreplaceable.
• You are valuable.
• You are loved and needed.
• Your partner married you because they couldn’t imagine doing this life without your help.
• You are just as important to the health of their career as they are.
• You are allowed to ask for help. We cannot do this alone. We need the support of positive, encouraging, truth-giving friends to help us keep our sanity during the difficult weeks.

You can choose to put away any negative tendencies. This is not easy, but you can make the choice to take every negative thought captive and replace it with truth. You can even admit that things are stinking hard, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend the day in dread.

When those feelings of negativity creep in, as we all know that they will, how will you respond?