4 Tips for When It Pours

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. — Dolly Parton

We are currently stationed at Joint Base Lewis McChord, Washington, which is known for several things: temperate climate, massive amounts of coffee shops, and of course—rain.

My husband and I love it here. The rain doesn’t  bother us too much because, really, we don’t get more rain than most places, it just falls more frequently. Typically just a small, gentle drizzle. Rarely is the rain a show stopper.

There is a running joke in Washington about one way you can tell a “real” Washingtonian versus a transplant: “True” residents don’t use an umbrella. Ever.

Well guess what, America? I am a Kansas transplant. So I own an umbrella. Two of them actually. And I use them.

The precipitation here has more to do with just getting wet, especially as a military spouse. It reminds me of that saying that somehow has worked its way into our military lives: When it rains, it pours.

And usually, it pours when the going gets tough. Like during a separated-by-duty situation.

Very rarely is any challenging season of military spouse life ideal. “Oh yes, my husband is deployed/gone-to-school/doing-stuff-with-things-somewhere-not-here, so it is super easy. Nothing crazy has happened.” 

Yeah, no. I have yet to experience a season where things are all rainbows, sunshine, and butterflies. When the “rain” of a challenging season comes, rarely does it stop there. It usually pours.

Two days after he leaves, the washing machine goes kaput with a full load of half-washed laundry, a kid (or three) gets sick, an unexpected bill shows up. That is real life.

However, as military spouses, we can’t just sit down and get drenched. We have to grab our umbrella and keep loving/supporting our service member by holding things down on the home front.

Here are a four tips I have compiled to keep us “dry” in even the most monsoon-ish seasons:

1. Let it go.

I don’t mean you have go all Elsa, leave town, and retire to an ice castle in the mountains. (Although some days, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.) Sometimes, when everything is just falling apart and the hard stuff of military life is pouring down, we need to let it go. Work out some aggression running sprints. Beat up a punching bag (I have one in my garage if you need to borrow it.)  Have a really good cry—you know, the ugly-cry-tear-up-a-box-of-Kleenex ones. Then we wash our face, take a breath, and get back to it.

2. Break it down.

Sometimes in our theoretical rainstorms, we get overwhelmed. We feel like our coat is already wet, so why even try? I say try! Break down the “storm” into bite-sized attainable pieces. A 12-month deployment looming? Don’t think about the twelve months; focus on the smaller landmarks. “When we get to my birthday, we will be at the halfway point!” 

Also, do math. (No, not algebra.) I am terrible at math until I’m trying to gain perspective. Saying “63 days” sounds like a lifetime, but when we get our percentages going, it makes such a difference. Soon 63 days might turn into “Only 6% of this deployment remains! 94% done!” That’s like an A. I vote yes.

3. Hold on tight.

Find something worthwhile to focus on instead of how drenched we are. When I’m on a long run in the rain, if I think about how soggy my socks are, it gets more unbearable with each step I take, and I get discouraged. But, if I focus on something in the distance, momentum is regained. In real life, this could be clinging to something you value, like focusing on a new hobby or skill. For me, it is my faith. Whatever gets you through the storm, hold on tight.

4. Keep calm and soldier on.

Know that it will not downpour forever! The rain will eventually stop. Sure, the basement might be flooded by that time, but there will come a day when the clouds finally part, the sun comes out, and the kids get better/washer is fixed/hubs returns home. Just be consistent with that firm grip on your umbrella, keep calm, and soldier on.

 

Be encouraged. Next time when it rains and pours, just grab hold of your umbrella and press on.

What practical “umbrellas” do you have in place in your life to get you through the downpours of military spouse life? Join the conversation and leave a comment.