Welcome to AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous link-up! We are so glad you are here. Just as the name implies, Recon Rendezvous is a place of community and connection. It is an opportunity to explore and learn about our fellow Army supporters’ lives, victories, trials, and experiences.
Each month, we “rendezvous” here to provide information, resources, and encouragement. So do some “reconnaissance,” link up, swing by your “neighbor” and leave a comment. Oh, and be sure to enter our giveaway below. We appreciate you! Thanks for contributing to our interactive empowerment for Army Wives across the globe!
Being a military spouse is a walk in the park… And by park, I mean Jurassic Park. #KiddingNotKidding
Some days I feel like I can conquer the world while other moments it’s a complete miracle that my kids are still alive and I remembered to put on pants. (Pants = Leggings. Don’t judge.)
We’ve all heard the saying “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I would like to consider myself tough–but where the heck am I supposed to “go” on tough days when my husband is already gone to work/TDY/deployment?!
The first answer is to “go” crazy. (Not my preference.) Second option is to find creative ways to cope.
So for the next couple of months, we will be digging into my personal strategies as well as some legit suggestions from Milspouse readers like you on how to deal when the going gets tough.
My tip this month is that when the going gets tough, I get… a bath. I bet you are simply stunned at the profoundness of that extremely complex strategy.
But seriously, a warm bath is my happy place. Not only does it relax all my tense muscles and give me a *little* bit of alone time, but for me it is also symbolic of washing away all the “junk” of the day.
Sure, it can be a little tricky to make this happen when we have little Tiny Humans running around our house and we are on solo parenting duty. But where there’s a will, there’s *usually* a way.
Ideally, I go to my bath time happy place in the evening when husband is home to keep half an eyeball on the kiddos. But that is an impossibility when he is gone/at work/etc. So what’s a tough gal gonna do?
I have to strategize and prioritize. It might mean taking a bath late in the evening after kids are in bed. (I saw a Facebook feed recently asking what moms typically do after the kids are in bed. Number one answer was “Clean.” Um, NOPE.)
Getting “my time” might be a middle-of-the-day soak when the baby is asleep and my pre-preschooler is at “school.” (If we were not at a remote duty station, she would be in hourly care… Same difference.)
If I am super desperate, I am not shy about occasionally breaking screen time rules and letting my Tiny Humans watch a little extra something, just so I can have some time to re-up my “get-toughness.”
It doesn’t always work out perfectly, but sometimes the effort is the most important thing. I try to take care of myself. I don’t hesitate to engage epsom salts, essential oils, candles, soft music, or an adult beverage (sometimes it’s just Cream Soda in a wine glass… still counts) with my bath time routine.
But hey–a soak in the tub isn’t the only way to cope. There are literally DOZENS of ways to deal when the going gets tough. Check out what our AWN fans had to say about it:
When the Going Gets Tough …
“I work out and try to stay busy. I rely on mommy friends, other spouses, and family to talk to and help me keep a positive perspective. I try very hard to force myself to stay positive and find the silver lining… there always is one if you look hard enough.” ~Allison M.
“I take a long hot shower and give myself the time to have a complete melt down. By the time the water starts to go cold, I get out and try to pull myself back together the best I can and move forward.” ~Pamela O.
“There is no right or wrong, or a book to follow. Everyone does it their own and individual way. I believe friends and family are the most important part in my life… just having someone to call or talk to when I have a down day– or even when I have good news!” ~Bianca D.
“I try to enjoy social activities that include the kids, often with other spouses with kids in the same age range. One time, my daughters and I all signed up for a community theater production. Also, when the going gets tough we share chores or find fun ways to get involved with the community.” ~Greta I.
“I go to church!!!” ~Reese M.
“When the going gets tough, the tough GET GOING! Keeping busy is the best way to make the time go faster. Walking is an activity that you can do alone or with the kids. Make it fun, use the time to clear your mind. Challenge yourself to find something positive about every day. Just don’t stop doing it….GET GOING.” ~Karla K.
Sure, I’m biased. But I think these are GREAT suggestions. Readers, what do YOU do when the going gets tough? I would love to hear all about it. Jump in and leave a comment below. (Also, be sure to enter for a chance to win this month’s giveaway!)