When the Going Gets Tough: Part 2

Welcome to AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous link-up! We’re so glad you are here. As the name implies, Recon Rendezvous is a place of community and connection. It’s an opportunity to explore and learn about our fellow military supporters’ lives, victories, trials, and experiences.

Each month, we “rendezvous” here to provide information, resources, and encouragement. So, do some “reconnaissance,” link up, swing by your “neighbor,” and leave a comment. 

You might recall that last month we kicked off a mini-series about what to do when the going gets tough as a milspouse.

We had such a good time with it that I didn’t want to stop there. So today, I’ll be sharing another one of my personal “coping” tips when things are harder than normal for our military spouse lives. And, of course, we’ll also take another look at some great ideas shared by our AWN followers.

So here is my monthly tip on how I deal with life when the going gets tough: I get busy “sharpening my saw.”

No, friends, I don’t get all lumberjack and start building a cabin. But I do take leadership guru Stephen Covey’s advice and take a time-out to sharpen my saw.

Here’s the premise: Two woodsmen are out in the woods, you know, doing woodsmen stuff. (I assume this means chopping down things.) Both are under a deadline to meet a quota. One of them stops periodically to check his blade and take a few precious moments to sharpen it. The other one keeps sawing away, as his blade gets duller and duller. Who do you think is going to be more successful (and less exhausted!) at the end of the day?

Yep, the one who stopped occasionally to sharpen the saw.

I do the same thing as a military spouse. My achiever instinct is to keep frantically pushing forward until I feel like the wheels are about to fall off, but I’ve learned that the smart thing is to take a break every now and then and do something that fills my souls and recharges my heart.

It could be huge and profound, like taking a couple days away by myself, but that maybe happens annually—if I’m lucky. I can do something every couple days or so to sharpen my saw: read a book for fun, drink hot tea and watch a show on Netflix post-bedtime, Zentangle, close my computer and take a couple of hours to window shop downtown, get a “fancy” yet simple lunch and dine by myself, grab a quick coffee with a friend, or even drink a Coke Zero in the parking lot of Walmart while scrolling Facebook for 15 precious minutes.

Don’t just take my word for it—see what other suggestions our AWN followers had to say about when the going gets tough:

“I work out daily, no excuses! Other ideas: do a fun activity with your child/children, take a hot shower, engage in a favorite activity you love that relaxes and puts you at ease. I love to drink tea in the morning and night as well during these times.” — Tanna Z.

“To-do lists are my go-to but having a strong support system is most effective. Plus, actually asking for help from the military community around you usually ends up way more joyful and helpful than you think!” — Elizabeth H.

“I intentionally keep busy. I realized this with this last deployment. Once I started going to the zoo weekly, and the swimming pool, and parks daily with the kids, time flew by so much faster.” — Tierny C.

“I take time to take care of me. Deep breathing, sleep, I call my mom (a lot!), hot baths, girls day out shopping and pampering  (just me, myself and I), and I try practicing mindfulness…just being in the here and now and taking it slow to relax.” — Chrissy F.

“I knit or crochet. I make blankets, hats, scarves, whatever I feel like making. Then if anyone wants it I donate it.” — Mary H.

“I tend to hide for a week before I can get my bearings. Then I get really busy. I take my son out to do things we never seem to have time to do.” — Andrea G.

“I find hilarious friends to be goofy with, drink a little wine, take a Zumba class, visit new places, and volunteer.” — Lindsay P.

I don’t know about you, but this is super motivating (and a great reminder for me, too)! What do you do when the going gets tough? Jump in and leave a comment below.