When You Become the Parent of a Military Child

A little more than a year ago I had my son—my first child. Not only did I become a mother the moment he was born, he became a military child. I became the parent of a military child.

It isn’t always something you think about, but when the reality of your situation in a military family comes to the forefront of your daily life, it’s hard to ignore.

For many years, I delayed having children. Aside from not being ready, I knew what it was and how it felt to be the spouse of a person who made a commitment to God and country to defend the Constitution and travel to foreign lands to do so if need be.

I knew what it was to go through years of my life with my spouse missing out on the daily ins and outs of my life and me missing out on his. It was hard and sometimes painful.

I knew what that could mean for my children. It was scary.

It is scary.

My husband was in Korea the last two-thirds of my pregnancy. He was back in Korea one day before our son turned 3 weeks old up until he was 6 months old. Of course, our son won’t remember, but how could either of us forget?

We’re a military family. These are some of the sacrifices we’ve made.

But, when all you have is your time on this earth, it’s hard to know you can’t get some of those special moments back.

I often think about the future and how I’ll address the big issues that, without a doubt, will be issues.

How will I tell my kids why we’re leaving their favorite teacher or best friend?

How will I explain deployments and long training exercises?

How will I address the fears a child will have that I, as an adult, have trouble gripping?

I honestly don’t know.

I don’t know how I can ask my child to deal with any of the issues that come with being the child of a military parent.

I know I have many obstacles in my future but so do my children.

The longer my husband stays in the military, the more challenges we’ll face. I hope my children can find the strength to get through the difficulties we may face down the road.

I hope I’ll have the tenacity to guide them and be their safe place when life becomes overwhelming or confusing.

I hope that being part of the military community does not break them but builds them.

I know they’ll face adversity in the future, and I hope I’ll have given them the courage and strength to overcome the challenges life has.

There are many unknowns in our future, but what I do know is that even though my children are military children, we’ll get through the bad times and celebrate the good times.

I know I have many fears, but I have so many hopes, too.