2021 Can Be a Year of Spring Cleaning, If We Let It.

You might have read that title and said something like, “Whoa. I don’t want to deep clean all year!”

Slow your scroll.

What I mean by “spring cleaning” is less about ridding our homes of physical things and more about letting go of negative thinking.

(However, if you’re like me and getting ready for a PCS, it could be a thing to consider!)

I don’t usually have New Year’s resolutions, and going into 2021, I still don’t have them.

Instead, I’m going into 2021 with an intention: positivity.

Now, before you send the “Oh no, she’s one of those proponents of toxic positivity” thoughts through your brain waves, take another deep breath.

My goal for 2021 is to think positive thoughts about myself and let those positive thoughts help me achieve all the things.

I have been either too scared to do or haven’t believed I could do. I don’t mean that I’m going to push myself to do things I can’t.

Why?

Because I learned something essential in 2020.

That I matter.

I, Amanda.

Not just the things Amanda does, or stands for. (Yes, those matter, too, but I knew that.)

I matter, and how I talk to myself and about myself matters. The language I use informs how I go through my day-to-day. It informs my productivity and my relationships with my family members. It informs how I think about the past and the future.

“Okay. Fine. All well and good, Amanda. But what does it have to do with me?”

Well, what does your self-talk sound like?

Are you gentle, patient, kind, and forgiving of yourself?

Probably some of the time. Maybe even most of the time. But if I had to guess, you aren’t perfect at it.

How did I know?

Ha. I’m not perfect at it either.

Shall we try to do some mental spring cleaning this year, together?

Yes?

Okay, great.

Here are some ways that I am going to hold myself accountable regarding positivity in 2021:

1. Journaling: I wrote in a journal for hours daily when I was in college. It helped me download thoughts, feelings, dreams, goals, and conversations. I allowed myself to feel what I felt exactly as I felt it. No holds barred. I think a daily journaling habit will help me feel what I need to again, in this state of military wife and mom.

2. Reaching out to friends: I find it helpful to talk with a particular friend when I’m struggling with negative self talk. You may be surprised to know this friend isn’t all sunshine and roses. She tends toward the melancholic, as I do. I talk to her, my civilian friend, because I know she won’t give me platitudes. She knows it is for me to think on the positive side of things and can honestly empathize. And then, when I need to be reminded that I am doing my best, she knows how to say so in a way I believe.

My husband does this well, also…but sometimes it’s helpful to hear from a friend, you know?

3. Writing the practical goals down and breaking them into steps/stages. This one is how I can speak positivity into my day, because I’ll be able to see the overarching goals for the year, then how they are broken down by month and week. I tend to think well of myself when I can see that I am taking steps to achieve the things I set out to do. Now, there’s some good in that, but it can be problematic if I start basing my self worth on my accomplishments. Which brings me to…

4. Practicing self care.  I know that my cerebral palsy (yes, I’m a disabled military spouse) requires that I listen to my body and rest. Sometimes, resting means I don’t complete everything I set out to do. Sometimes everything gets done, but in an unusual way. For example: You’re highly unlikely to get a handwritten thank-you note from me, but you will get a call and/or pictures. Why? Because I know my limitations (like the fact that, while we’ve been at Fort Drum, I don’t check the mail often in the winter because I have no desire to faceplant on the icy sidewalk with letters sprawled around me). I do what I can. In 2021, I will do my best to take this patience into all facets of my life.

What about you? How can you do some mental spring cleaning in 2021?