Tips to Prepare You for an OCONUS PCS

Decisions, decisions!

Parents make decisions every day that impact their family. Some decisions are more complex than others, and for military families, some decisions are unique and different from what a civilian neighbor may face. For example, military families moving overseas face a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety leading up to and during an OCONUS move. And sometimes the return trip stateside can be equally tough.

I have a pretty good understanding of the emotions facing families making those moves. I’m a military spouse. My husband serves in the U.S. Navy, and we relocated to Spain at one point in his career. This move was both challenging and rewarding, and I would do it all over again if given the opportunity. 

Here are four things to remember when moving overseas: 

1. You are surrounded by experts. Many of your military friends and neighbors have been through these moves and are happy to offer up solid, first-hand recommendations.

2. Patience. Moving overseas (and returning home) takes a lot of work, can be frustrating at times, and will test your patience. In those moments of stress and frustration, take a deep breath, and try to soak up every moment of this journey because the reward is worth the struggle. 

3. Things will be different. Better yet, you will learn to adjust to the tempo of your new environment. For example, when you arrive overseas, don’t be surprised if you can’t settle into your new home as quickly as you anticipated. You may have to live in a hotel longer than you expected. Or, if you live off the installation, installing internet in your home may not happen as quickly as you want. 

4. The memories make it worth it. Despite the small setbacks when you are moving into your host country, remember that the memories you make will be worth the small hassles of moving overseas. You will develop lasting friendships and connections that span a lifetime. And speaking of memories … another thing I cherished during our time in Spain was to travel, travel, travel! Traveling might be the best “perk” of living overseas. Weekend getaways to other countries are commonplace when you live overseas. So, pack your favorite small suitcase and travel as much as your budget will allow.

Here are two things to consider:

1. Living on or off the installation. In some cases, you won’t have a choice and might have to take whatever is available. Some people prefer to live on the installation because of the size of the homes, the proximity to services, or because they are most comfortable with this choice. If you want to live like a local, take some time to consider its benefits. Living off the installation can provide you unique insight into the culture, history, and people who live there. You will leave this location with a wealth of knowledge about your host country, and you may discover interests and a self-confidence you didn’t know were inside you.

2. Where to go to school. If there is an option to enroll your children in a local school, take a moment to consider this option because it gives kids a chance to learn a new language and make international friends while broadening their understanding of the world. In some locations, this option might involve a tuition fee or a wait list, so ask questions when gathering the information. 

Here is a first-hand story from the Hope For The Warriors team:

Moving overseas is an adventure, and the people you meet along the way will enhance that experience. We all have our stories and our perspectives, so here are a few additional ideas from one of my fellow military spouses at Hope For The Warriors. 

Kristy Schwartz, Hope For The Warriors Social Media Coordinator and also military spouse who recently returned home from Iwakuni, Japan, had a few short, but succinct tips:

• Never forget this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
• Smiling is the universal language!
• Use the cultural resources, classes, and trips offered by your installation. 
• Be brave. Step out of your comfort zone! 
• Meet with your installation’s financial planner to talk about a savings plan. Transferring all or some of your COLA can provide an opportunity to build a fantastic nest egg or a vacation fund for your international travels. 

Here are five tips from the community:

We asked for some tips via the Hope For The Warriors Facebook page and collected some fantastic ideas. Here are a few:

• Embrace the chance of exploring a different culture. Try the food, learn to drive on the opposite side of the road (if it works that way at your location), shop in town, use Google translate, and laugh when it makes no sense.
• Explore. Don’t stay on base. Shop in the local community, and eat in the local community. Go a little bit further every day. Go to local grocery stores, not just the commissary. Make friends with locals, not just military families. 
• Find your support. “It was especially interesting for me, because not only did I move overseas but also became a new mom. Having a good support system within the installation (Stroller Warriors, moms’ groups, etc.) was super helpful, because as a young mom alone 90% of the time, it was just hard to get off the installation sometimes.”
• Don’t feel bad when exploring is too much. Take advantage of the moments you are able to, but don’t beat yourself up over laying low sometimes. 
• Make a list. “The biggest thing that helped me was before I left the States was making a list of places I wanted to explore and see when I was overseas. Having a ‘bucket’ list made the transition easier because I was looking forward to adventures instead of looking at what I was missing.”
• Remember that you perspective will change. “As for adjusting back to the U.S., well, it’s been strange because of COVID, but I have to constantly remind myself that the people around me do not have the same perspective as I do. I don’t know their life experiences, and they don’t know mine. While I listen to people complain about things that now seem so simple and minuscule, I really have to remind myself that they haven’t been to another country to see the other ways of the world, and I can’t expect all of the country to change just because I have. It has for sure been eye opening to be back. I also hold my kids a little bit tighter here.

Regardless of where you go or when you move, remember that there is so much to take in—choose small doses or big fat helpings as it suits you. The friendships will be rich, the experience will be breathtaking at times, and the memories will last a lifetime.

Erin Lester is a military spouse who launched a new career path after volunteering with the wounded, injured and ill at Naval Medical Center San Diego. Since then, she has enjoyed working for several nonprofits that support the military and their families. She is currently Hope For The Warriors Senior Director for Transition, where she oversees the suite of transition programs and services offered by HOPE.