To the Struggling Military Spouse: We See You

This life isn’t an easy one. As military spouses, we’ve given up a lot of opportunities in exchange for marrying a service member. We’ve sacrificed our careers, our roots, time away from our extended families, consistency, and the ability to plan, while accepting the job of solo parent and helpmate and harnessing the burden of household duties on our own shoulders. To the struggling military spouse, we see you.

To the spouse whose service member received orders to the third duty location just this year, we see you.

To the spouse who is regretfully handing over his letter of resignation at a job he loved in preparation for yet another PCS, we see you.

To the spouse who has left yet another job interview feeling defeated, we see you.

To the spouse saying “see you later” to a group of friends that couldn’t possibly exist anywhere else, we see you.

To the spouse who is fighting for her marriage and feeling defeated, we see you.

To the spouse unwrapping the fragments of a cherished wedding or childhood keepsake after a recent PCS, we see you.

To the spouse who is holding her service member for the last time before he boards a bus for yet another deployment, fear and uncertainty tucked deep down away from her loved one, we see you.

To the spouse who fears for his partner’s deployment because he has experienced one firsthand as a part of his own military career, we see you.

To the spouse who barely made it inside the door before crumbling on the floor in tears after kissing her husband goodbye, so uncertain of what the future holds, we see you.

To the spouse awake at night, alone, with a crying inconsolable baby suffering from teething and a cold, with no rest in sight, we see you.

To the spouse waking to a husband’s nightmare of the horror of war, trying to soothe and reassure, we see you.

To the spouse who received yet another message about a wounded service member in her husband’s unit, fearing for her friends and her husband, we see you.

To the spouse who arrived at the hospital, heart dropping as he gets the first glimpse of his loved one, battered and bandaged, after being wounded overseas, we see you.

To the spouse who is acting as a caregiver, providing support and encouragement when the times feel dark and oppressive, we see you.

To the spouse halfway through a deployment, counting down the long days until her loved one returns home, we see you.

To the spouse cooking dinner for her family and eating alone for yet another night while her husband is in the field, we see you.

To the spouse who just arrived at a new duty station, not knowing a soul, apprehensive about how he’ll fit in and find his tribe, we see you.

To the spouse counting down the days until she leaves the duty station she just hasn’t enjoyed, we see you.

To the spouse turning over in bed to a cold, empty space, where a loved one should be nestled, we see you.

To the spouse sitting alone in the emergency room with a sick child, full of worry, we see you.

To the spouse who is hoping for that one time where she and the children can come first, we see you.

To the spouse who will never receive the happy homecoming because her service member made the heartbreaking ultimate sacrifice, we see you, too. You have realized all of our worst fears and you will always be one of us.

This life can be a hard one. And if you’re feeling discouraged, you aren’t alone. You’re never alone. We see you.

We, your fellow military spouses, stand behind you. We’re here to support you. Not just in the dark times, but in the beautiful ones, too.

We’re here, the extensive sisterhood that has spent generations following in the wake of our beloved service members. From the times of the old western outposts, to the long separations during world wars waged in foreign lands, to the uncertainty of unpopular wars that many Americans don’t seem to remember.

We are rooting for you. We are rooting for your marriage, your relationship with your children, your experiences in this life, your job opportunities, your friendships.

We not only know your struggle, but are familiar with it on a deeper level.

We know the excitement that comes with a new job or a service member’s promotion and the warmth of hearing a thank you for our support.

We know the thrill of receiving orders to fun and interesting locations around the globe, the thoughts of all the memories and treasures we can bring back from our travels.

We know the feeling of gratitude and relief that comes when our service members finally leave that war-torn country on their journey home. The final exhale, knowing they’re safe at last.

We know that surge of happiness, excitement, and uncertainty that comes when our loved ones finally return to us. The fear and apprehension of reintegration and how we’ll fair through it.

We know that pride that comes with seeing our service member in uniform, the shiny metal, the colorful ribbons, earned through great sacrifice and dedication.

We know that despite the tough times, the times that may reduce us to tears, so many of us would choose this life all over again. We would choose to follow our loved one, to open ourselves to the deep bond of friendship that seems to only be found in this life, and to lean on that special band of spouses when the going gets tough.

We see you and we’re here for you.

Always.