Emotional Movement

One of the things we had to do to get ready for our move was take down the Rainbow playset we have in our backyard. You would have thought this would be a simple process, but it proved to be the most challenging thing about the move thus far.

It wasn’t the playset.

It was everything that surrounded it.

It was the first thing to “come down” and signify we were leaving our home.

It sounds stupid, really, for me to be upset about taking down a playset or for me to be upset about moving. I’m a military spouse of more than 10 years—it’s not like I don’t know what moving feels like.

Why is this time different? I don’t know.

The only thing I can attribute it to is that it’s because there were so many firsts in this house, so many good friends were made, but mostly it’s because I really bonded with this post.

We were at a point in our journey where I really started to care.

It’s also hard for me to understand why my husband is so eager to get out of here. He isn’t exactly excited about getting a new job, but he is excited about moving to Oklahoma. It will be closer to our “home” in Missouri. He won’t be deploying for a while. I know all these things, and I am excited about them, but it doesn’t help me understand how it is so easy for him to put our stuff in a box and head out.

There is no emotional attachment here for him.

He asked me the other day why I felt so strongly about not wanting to leave. The only thing I could come up with is that I had things here I loved. I love the “small” town. I love our civilian doctors. I love the schools. I love my hairstylist. I like having a Publix. I like that people know me here. I like that I can go places in my sweat pants, too. I love our neighbors.

He sees that, but he still doesn’t understand. I thought about it long and hard and came up with the fact that this community supported me during two long deployments.

He hasn’t lived here but two of the almost five years we’ve been here.

When we moved into our house, Wren was only 2. She started school here. We found our best friends here in this neighborhood. I started Army Wife Talk Radio here. I had Chloe here, during a deployment—on my own. I think I’m attached, and it’s hard to let go.

So, back to the playset.

It is important to note that we paid, like, 2700 bucks for this silly thing. It was an investment because we were tired of paying $800 and then moving one to have it fall apart. Ironically, my husband is the cheap one in this family—I’m the spender. Yet the man wanted to leave the playset behind. All I could think was “Why?”

To me, at the time, it sounded like he wanted to leave (bear with me here…) “ALL OF OUR STUFF” behind. Yes, I freaked out.

“Why would you leave all of our things here? Just because we are moving doesn’t mean we leave our life behind. This stuff is what we have worked for.”

Yes, I was being silly. I was freaking out. I didn’t want to move. It was easiest to get mad at him, knowing full well that this is what we do, and it wasn’t his fault we had to uproot.

So, the playset deconstruction turned into one massive argument and emotional blowout.

I felt horrible. He felt horrible.

And Wren was wondering why her playset was in pieces.

Of course, it all was done once we sat down and communicated about it. Wren knows now that we’re taking it with us, and she is very happy. Kevin and I know that we are both stressed and we have different views and perspectives on how and why this move is what it is.

One thing I remember that Susan Miller said was that moving is often emotional for a woman but transactional for a man.

Boy, am I feeling that.