Forward, March: Growing Up is Hard to Do

Welcome to this month’s installment of our “Forward, March!” blog series. “Forward, March!” is meant to empower, encourage, and equip us as military spouses, so that we may support our service members with ever-deepening levels of strength and perseverance. Our hope is that the topics discussed in “Forward, March!” will be not only informative, but also challenging (in a good way, of course) to ensure that our “talk” as military spouses manifests through our “walk” as military spouses. Now, let’s fall in and get to it! 

Growing up is hard to do.

I’m not just talking about the awkward seasons of puberty (ugh!) or those painful moments of high school. It isn’t all about those puff paint shirts or the bird-nest bangs in every school picture.

Growing up as a military spouse is no easy task.

Maybe that’s why they call it growing pains instead of growing parties?

One of my close friends is a newlywed to her beloved soldier. Both of our husbands are in the same company, so they’re deployed together. They’ve been married one year. My Beloved Infantryman and I just celebrated eight years married.

And I have to tell you what, my friends: I do not miss the newlywed stage.

Now, if you are a newlywed reading this, hear me out. It was a very exciting time in my life, head-over-heels absolutely cuh-razy for my man in uniform. But gosh, I sure felt stressed out.

It was like he was speaking another language half the time. And I was a pretty slow learner when it came to the fact that the military kind of makes the rules…and the schedules…and when we do (or don’t) get to spend time together.

Although I had good intentions, I was just so new at all this milspouse-ing (is that a verb? It is now…) that I was always so wound up. And let’s face it—I wasn’t the most patient or gracious!

However, nearly a decade into this military spouse life, I’m starting to figure things out. Most days.

Don’t get me wrong—I still don’t get it right every time (rumor has it that perfect is boring), but for the most part, the longer I am married to my soldier, the more I learn and the more confident I feel in living by this no-plan plan.

It’s important to know, however, that growing as a military spouse requires us to be intentional. Unfortunately, it isn’t like my Tiny Humans. I feel like they just go to sleep and when they wake up the next day, their clothes no longer fit!

Physical growth happens naturally. Personal and relational growth? Not so much.

I have to put my husband first. I must respect him. Personally, I lean on my faith to give me abundant grace and patience day by day.

I surround myself with other solid-as-a-rock spouses to provide encouragement and insight on the hard days. I engage in self care whenever I can, because it makes me a better spouse (and parent!).

So, dear readers, leave a comment with your answers to the following:

• What are you doing this month to intentionally grow as a military spouse?
• Is there something you need to do?
• Or something perhaps you’re being called to let go or give up?
• Think about what continuing to “grow up” looks like to you as we march forward in this Army wife life.