The Final Decision
A few months ago, my husband I found out he was going to PCS to Korea. (You can read a little bit more about that here.) We struggled with whether or not I should go with him or stay behind. After all, if you go to Korea with your spouse and are able to get command sponsorship, your time there extends from one year to two (or longer). Though if you go non-command sponsored you are there for just a year, but it is a much more expensive choice.
The majority of people I’ve talked to love being in Korea and are sad to leave. However, I felt very uncomfortable committing so much time to going to a country overseas without knowing whether or not we would like being there. My dream of moving turned into an uncomfortable and overwhelming situation, and I think that had a lot to do with the decision we made in the end.
Though I shudder to think I will spend the majority of another year away from my husband, we both know it will be much simpler for me to stay at Fort Lewis. I had the choice to move elsewhere, but it seemed like it was all moving a little too fast and it all became very stressful just trying to figure things out. I debated moving back near my family, but at the same time, finding a place to live just to have to come back to the Pacific Northwest (right now our current duty station is my husband’s next duty station after Korea) seemed like a big pain in the butt.
I am treating this almost like a deployment. The only difference (which is a pretty awesome difference) is that I will have the chance to go visit my husband while he’s in Korea and get the chance to see how it is there. I’m not looking forward to the very long plane ride, but I’m looking forward to visiting my first country outside of the U.S. and Canada.
I feel that, through my time as a spouse of someone who lives mostly by the rules of the military, I’ve developed this ability to adapt to most situations, and I constantly find myself being forced out of my comfort zone. I can say this situation was no different. However, I think this time I wasn’t completely prepared or ready for what the military had in store for this next chapter in life. Like many of you reading this, I end up living in a place I’ve never even visited before. You put a lot of trust in the process and a lot of hope in that things will be back to normal within a few months. I’m sure had I decided to go it may have been this way, but I still found myself very reluctant to be overseas for two long years.
Things are moving pretty fast now that we are just a couple of months away from my husband’s report date. I am trying to cherish every moment we have since the next year will be a very long one. However, I know we will get through it just like we have any other time we’ve had to separate for long periods of time. After all, situations such as this one force you to become resilient as long as you are unwilling to give up. And I’m no quitter.
How have you gotten through a separation overseas? Or did you go with your spouse to Korea? Sound off in the comments below!
