What I Need You to Tell Me

Looking over my calendar for the next few months, I have some exciting things planned. Our spouses club is hosting a huge fundraiser that will help raise money for community grants and non-profits in the area. We’ve been planning for months and I can’t wait to see it executed for a good cause.

My two workout besties and I have committed to a different hike each month, with our final hike being Rattlesnake Ridge (Google it…it’s unbelievable). I can’t wait to get to the top and take ridiculous amounts of selfies and then celebrate by gorging ourselves at our favorite taco truck.

Don’t even get me started on the month of March. March is my anniversary, both kids’ birthdays and their birthday parties. In fact, I have so many things I am looking forward to PLUS a move back across the country this summer, that I forgot the most important thing of all.

While I am busy living our fast and hard Army life, so are my three best friends. They have the same exciting things planned, birthday parties to throw, and functions to attend, but they will be doing it with a deployed husband.

As their friend, I want to make them all coffee cakes every morning, take them out for coffee, and have hour-long conversations about our kids.

As their Army wife sister, I know that is not realistic. And because I am TERRIBLE at remembering all the little things I should be doing for them, I need their help. Ladies, here is what I need…

I need you to tell me when you need advice. Is your car making a funny noise? Struggling for new strategies when it comes to your toddler’s temper tantrum? Need an idea for a cool gift to send your husband that isn’t going to melt on the way to Afghanistan? I’m your girl. I know a good mechanic, have raised two cranky toddlers, and sent my fair share of care packages. Bring it on, sister.

I need you to tell me when you need a workout partner. Don’t feel like working out this week? Totally fine. (Me either, honestly.) But on those days you wake up and want to punish yourself with a good CrossFit AMRAP or a run around the parade field, I am happy to accompany you. Want to stretch that run into 3 laps around the parade field? Bring it on, sister.

I need you to tell me when you are lonely. Listen, some of us delight in the whole bed to ourselves those first few weeks. And who doesn’t love breakfast for dinner three nights in a row? But after that initial honeymoon phase of deployment wears off, it can get downright lonely.

Text me. Show up at my door. Wave me down in the commissary parking lot. I don’t want to assume you are lonely. What if you just want to sit and watch Netflix in peace? What if you are reading that book you’ve wanted to read for the last year?

But what if you’re not? I won’t know unless you tell me. And if you think you’re bothering me, you’re wrong. It will bother me more if you are lonely and don’t tell me. Bring it on, sister.

I need you to tell me when your kids are driving you crazy. It will happen. And you can bet it will happen sooner than later. It’s 10am on a Saturday and you’ve already fixed breakfast, “second breakfast” (because they are always hungry) and broken up three fights about the LEGO man with the sword that turns into a light saber.

Ring the doorbell, hand me a bag of their favorite snacks and a change of clothes, and leave. I promise I won’t care. I promise I won’t judge. Need to leave them AND the cat? Bring it on, sister.

My three friends are just three of thousands facing the same future this winter/spring. What about them? I can’t watch all their kids. And there is no way I can run that many laps around the parade field. Thankfully, we Army wives are in plentiful supply and we tend to think alike on these matters.

So to you other ladies reading this, no one knows you and your circumstances better than we do. Your parents and friends at home will support you, but they are probably hundreds of miles away. We are here. We are now.

You are never alone. All you have to do is tell us what you need, and we’ll be there. I think I speak for all of us when I say, bring it on, sister.

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About Amy Trimble

Amy is an Army wife of 18 years with two children ages 14 and 10. Most mornings you can find her in the alley behind her house, doing CrossFit with friends and wishing she was still on her couch drinking coffee. Amy enjoys volunteering with the Lewis Community Spouses Club, at her childrens' schools, and watching St. Louis Cardinal baseball with her family (all while drinking even more coffee). You can follow her on Twitter @amylynnt0825 or on Instagram at java.mom.

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